slicerness's free manga shop
by Slicerness
Summary: When I get random little fic-lets that I feel the need to write down they will go here. Rated for content.
1. one: welcome to slicer's free manga shop

OK y'all I've had this idea for a while.

After playing fallout 3 for four days straight (Pretty sure i passed out around 40 hours in) i seem to have developed a permanent habit of sidetracking. This 'virus, has thus infected every other part of my brain. I could be watching anime and suddenly think of a little funny scenario and completely ignore the anime in favor of fine tuning the scenario in my head.

This is where i will put those ideas. I will explain what i was doing when i had the idea as well so that maybe whoever reads this will do what i did and maybe become infected with side quest-aholic-itis (Its a real disease now, why? because I friggin said so)

I'm new at using this... OpenOffice... thing... so there will be errors.

OK thanks for your time and I'll post the next chapter in a couple minutes.

P.S. why posting this in the sekirei section?

1.) The section needs more stories.

2.) The first chapter (this doesn't count) will be a sekirei fic-let and the second will have a sekirei reference.

3.) I got the idea from the next chapter from a sekirei doujin so its only fair i honor the series that finally got my ass in gear to finally write this.


	2. two:rape fail

Alright alright. I have to settle down now. I'm actually shaking in excitement, and I'm nervous that this won't be any good. So please give me your honest review.

After reading the sekirei doujinshi 'bakanyuu bird' (big breasted bird I think) I am shocked and appalled at the artist that made it. Not only did they not give up a fight, they gave in and had their 'minds broken' after one thrust. Honestly I've seen a doujin where the girl lasted a week. A WEEK! Of non-stop rape! They lasted like, 0.2 seconds!

So this is how the doujin should have happened

-as the almighty author I command this fic to start!-

chapter 2: rape fail

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Tsukiumi and Musubi found themselves in an abandoned generic warehouse surrounded by what could only be called 'generic thugs' with Minato on his knees, hand and feet bound, with the apparent leader of the group holding what may have well have been a butter knife about six inches from his neck.

"Now ladies lets make a deal here. You let us have our way with those beautiful bodies of yours and we won't kill your Ashibab-" "Ashikabi" Tsukiumi interrupted. "whatever! The deal is still the same no matter what he is to you" the leader (Who will now be called Kubo) said while leering at the Tsukiumi's generous bust.

Tsukiumi was galled at the stupidity of this lowly...neanderthal! He dare(!) threaten her husband with such a pathetic attempt? He had what seemed to be a dull pocket knife, not even held ON his throat but several inches away giving her _plenty_ of time to kill him before he even _thought_ about hurting Minato. They (The ladies) weren't even bound (Not that it would have done much good). If the brutes really had any brain cells that weren't used for thinking about their next conquest they would have at least used a gun, which still would have done nothing but piss her off.

Then one of the thugs did the stupidest thing he could have done.

He groped her chest.

Not just a quick squeeze mind you, oh no he was going the whole nine yards here. Hell he was still try to massage her chest well after the ice spike that shot out of her back(1) impaled his heart and then expanded in his chest becoming what most would liken to the top of a mace.

(at the exact same time right next to her)

Another thug, who for some reason looked just as bland and forgettable as the other thugs, decided he liked the brunette, and since they were gonna rape 'em anyway why not start early? He the proceeded to come up behind her, reach around her waist ,and cupped her 'no no zone' as she would have called it. Musubi feeling strangely revolted acted like what any innocent, absurdly powerful, and busty girl would in a situation like this.

She spun around, using the momentum of her spin, and rammed her elbow into his skull. Unknowingly turning the left side if his skull into dust.

Kubo stared at expendable henchman number fourteen and twenty-seven in shock as they slumped to the floor, very much dead. He started to panic slightly, correctly guessing that just _maybe_ he didn't have quite as much control over the situation as he thought he did. He never noticed the one inch tall, two inch thick, three foot long water serpent sneaking up behind him ready to strike at any moment. Attempting to save face in front of his crew, after putting on his best 'lady killer' smile, (which was actually disturbing enough to kill a puppy if one saw him) he decided the try and demand they give in.

"listen here bitches we have your man at our mercy now take off your clothes and get over here and suck my dick or he'll have another hole to breath out of!"

Tsukiumi had just about enough of these games and decided now was the best time to attack Kubo. She willed the water serpent she had made to take the knife from his hands, cut Minato's bindings freeing him, and then split into three snakes, all one foot long segments. Two wrapping around his knees and stomach (along with his arms at the elbow) and the last forming a belt around Minato's waist that lead him out of the warehouse.

"Okay now that Minato can't see us lets have some _fun." _Tsukiumi all but hissed. The thugs, having very small brains, thought she meant _their_ kind of fun and started walking closer to the ladies. While they were doing this Tsukiumi decided to fill Musubi in on what was about to happen, "these mean people wanted to hurt Minato-kun. They wanted to take him away from us." she whispered to the brunette.

Musubi suddenly felt very cold at the thought of someone taking away her dear Minato-kun, and the very, _very_ angry. "How dare you try and steal my master!(2)" Musubi lunged at the thugs while Tsukiumi was hurling ice shards at them.

They didn't stand a chance.

~3.7 seconds later~

Both women walked out of the now gore filled warehouse with a smile and a smirk respectively(Tsukiumi had personally made sure Kubo could never mate again before killing him I.E. she cut it off) to the very grateful hug of Minato. "I'm so happy your both safe!" Tsukiumi _almost _rolled her eyes at that, she had a roll to play after all.

"Oh Minato-kun I was so scared! Those evil vile men tried to to this to me!" she shouted dramaticly, shoving his hand onto her breast and making it squeeze them.

Musubi, not knowing Tsukiumi was just teasing him decided to act out her experience as well. "me to master! Those evil men touched me here!" she genuinely shouted while placing his hand under her skirt and on her panties.

Minato being the virgin teen he is blushed, let his mind go blank, and let his instincts take over.

-Minatos subconscious-

We find ourselves in Minatos Mindscape. It was actually his old apartment before he met Musubi. We also find a group of Minatos sitting around a oval table flat on one side so the head of the table was in easy view of everyone. Minato-prime started the meeting

"We are gathered here today because instinct seems slightly different. Anyone else notice? Jealousy-Minato answered for him. "The fuck if I know, stop flaunting your authority..... jerk." Polite-Minato was a lot more helpful. "He does seem strangely twitchy since we were kidnapped"

Instinct-Minato decided to play his plan now before he was discovered. "Hey guys I heard something banging on the closet door, lets go check it out." and so all 10 of the Minatos present got up from the control panel AKA The Table(you can practically _taste_ the capitol letters can't you) and walked into the other room where the closet was. Prime took the initiative and opened the door revealing.... the real Instinct-Minato! They all turned around to spot the imposter taking off the fake sticker on his head that said IN and revealed SD, Sex Drive-Minato! Who quickly shut and locked the door on his fellow metaphysical emotional facets. Hurrying over to the control panel, SD-Minato decided he rather liked being in control and started going to work.

-Real World-

With his libido replacing instinct Minato's hands started to grope and stroke respectively causing both women to heat up, even more so than when he first winged them. The women exchanged lustful glances and proceeded to tackle Minato to the ground.

They were not seen for four more hours.

When they did decide to return Minato was being dragged home by two very satisfied women and proceeded to make his way upstairs and pass out on his bed, one thought passing through his head before the bliss of sleep claimed him.

'This. has been the best day. Ever!'

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(1) after training with Miya, Tsukiumi learned to mold the water into ice and how to mold the water to her body like a second skin. It also acts as armor and an early weapon as poor thug number fourteen found out.

(2) Its been so long since I've seen canon I've forgotten what she calls him.

Please. R & R I'm very nervous and I would like to hear what you think.

Also. Updates will be whenever I get a story. It could be 3 a day or it could be one a month. Shit just happens so I wouldn't hold your breath between updates.

P.S. I do actually have the idea of what I'm writing for chapter 2 so it will probably be tomorrow

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this very bottom section will be where I name what I'm reading right when I'm writing this, I multi-task a lot.

**Currently reading: **_the gift, by mercaba rated M _(for good reason)

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**edit:** 11/23/09 Revamped the chapter. Tuned up the grammar, fixed some spelling mistakes, and just overall made the chapter better.(I hope)


	3. three:undead harem!

Sry folk I forgot something in the first 2 chapters. Listen up cuz this is gonna be the ONLY disclaimer. Its to troublesome/much of a pain in the ass to do it every chapter.

_**THIS SLICERNESS DOES NOT OWN ANY OF THE SHIT HE WRITES ABOUT! NOR IS HE MAKING MONEY OFF OF IT! SO CALL OFF THE DAMN LAWSUIT**_

alright that should protect me from the evil lawyers of +1 moneygrubbing.

_**WARNING**_: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS MADE ENTIRELY OF CRACK, PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Left 4 dead/sekirei crossover...... That right you heard me.

Chapter three:....undead.....harem?

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AN:after reading 'tears' by fonkirby along with many other witch related stories. I got the idea for this. In the story tears a witch restores her humanity by bonding with Zoey and eventually kissing. What other show involves kissing to awaken inner power? That right kiddies, sekirei. So I decided,"why the hell not?" so here we are.

Campaign: No mercy

Act one: alleyways

equipment:

Louis: smg

Bill: smg

Francis: shotgun

Zoey: dual pistols (Francis gave her his thinking he wouldn't need such a 'dinky weapon')

the survivors were currently trying not to freak out. Ya see they had fought their way through the apartment building they started on and went through the alleyways and were now out on the street. They had enough good fortune to find pain pills for everyone and two molotovs and two pipe bombs but it wouldn't do much good considering there was a witch. Right. Fucking. There. Right if front of the police car as soon as the alleyway ended. There was a sniper rifle right behind her on the hood of the car that would be worth its weight in gold if they could get their hands on it.

They were about to use plan:burn the Witch that they had decided upon. Witches were rather mindless ya see so they charge at ONLY the first thing to hurt them so the standard witch combat plan was to have Zoey (as she has the only long range gun) run as far away as she can and shoot the witch so it comes after her. The guys would then proceed to throw a wall of bullets at it while it tried to kill her. I worked rather well if there wasn't a hunter in the area ready to pounce the first member to split off from the herd.

Zoey was about to sprint as far away as she could from the group as to start the plan but something caught the groups attention.

"Hey! Wait! Don't kill her! I have a better way of subduing them!" a brown haired, blue eyed teen in a white shirt and black pants (I forgot what h wears) yelled from the other side of the-ohshittherewerefiveofthemnow!

The teen was surrounded with 5 girls with random clothes of various modesty. The part about them that made the survivors almost crap their pants was the claws, glowing red eyes, claws, silk white hair, and did I mention the claws?

"Misato if you please" the mysterious teen asked one of the girls. The one in the tube top and mini-skirt, with D cups Zoey noted jealously . The girl walked up to the government blockade fence and.... effortlessly sliced a perfectly rectangle make-shift door in it.

The teen stepped through followed by the other girls. By this time the witch had noticed them and was growling a warning for them to back the hell off. The survivors panicked but the teen simply walked up to her, waited for her to stand up, and raise her claws at her sides threateningly and then....

kissed her full on the lips.

The survivors watched in shock as the witches previously glassy eyes lit up with joy and changed to what they correctly assumed were her natural eyes, her hair changed from 'just took a bath in bleach' to silky white, her body went from scrawny, pale, and seriously needing a sammich to 'wow, you need to get out more there Dracula' pale, her body also filled out. Giving curves at the hips and such, her bust went from A cup to C cup, straining heavily against what most people would generously call a clothe bikini.

The ex-Witch shouted "amber!" and hugged the teen for all she was worth (which considering how friggin powerful Witches are was quite a bit) the teen turned around after disengaging from the death hug and explained to the survivors," heyya I'm Minato, you probably got some question so ask away."

bill decided to ask first....using the term 'ask' lightly,"wha....how...why?" he managed to blurt out.

"I'm just gonna start from the beginning. Okay, so I was like you guys at first with my trusty M-16 I.... acquired from one one the soldier zombies walking around."here he motioned at the gun strapped to his shoulder hanging near his right hip."I had just been boomed on and had taken shelter in a small apartment to bottleneck the zombies in the doorway as I was running out of ammo. It worked for the most part but I got the dead mans click when all but one of them were dead so after clubbing the last zombie to death I decided to lock the apartment door and search for supplies as I was out of ammo, and hungry. I went from room to room searching for supplies when I heard crying."

the survivors were pretty sure what that meant but let him continue, curious about how he got out of the situation alive

"so you can imagine my surprise when I walk into what appeared to be the bedroom and tripped over the bed, it was dark, and came face-to-face with Misato over there." he pointed to the ex-witch that broke the fence."of coarse she looked like death warmed over at that point and the claws she was threaten me with looked rather sharp. I knew I was pretty much fucked at this point so having never kissed a girl before, I busy trying to get into college gimme a break, I decided I was gonna at least accomplish that much before I die. So right before she was gonna play 'lets see what your organs look like' I lunged forward and planted possibly the most pathetic kiss in history, I damn near missed, right on her lips. She went through a similar transformation you just saw and then ran into the closet and put on some clothes. It seems they regain their modesty along with small amounts of intelligence. They can understand what we say, can say their name, and make this odd purring sound, which is just a toned down growl, when they're happy."

Francis decided to speak up."so you made an undead harem for yourself..." Minato looked a mix between pride and embarrassment at that. "uhhh....ya pretty much."

Francis shrugged and decided he liked this new kid, he had balls."I'm Francis, the black guy is Louis, the old one is Bill, (he skillfully ignored the bullet that almost hit his foot) and our resident walking chesticles herself, Zoey! (he could not however dodge the knee to the crotch from the previously named 'chesticles' )"pleasure to meet you all" Minato stated bowing exaggeratedly.

"alright so if you guys are heading to mercy hospital can I come with? I could use the company of someone who can talk" he briefly turned around and assured the ladies he meant no offense. "and you guys may need some help against the tanks."

the survivors huddled up and eventually decided that ya surviving was worth maybe losing some sleep over. Ya never know what a hormone infested teenager would do to six beautiful ladies when he was assured they were in a safe room safe after all.

"alright we'll let ya join. Just try not to lag behind, we walk at a rather quick pace so keep an eye on us as well as the surrounding" bill stated. Francis, however couldn't resist asking " so.... how are they in bed?" he said grinning from ear-to-ear. "Fuckin Aweso... I-i mean hey look a smoker! "

4 chapters and 2 hours later

the journey here was pretty easy with a literal wall of claws to fend off any stray commons that got passed the hail of gunfire. 98 percent of all hunters were chopped into pieces mid-lunge (the one that made it passed was when the group was going up the ladder to get out of the sewers. And with 5 survivors any smoker or boomer was quickly called out and taken care of. They felt slightly sorry for the task honestly, the ex-Witches apparently didn't like tanks very much and thoroughly enjoyed ganging up on them and see who could chop off the biggest piece. Minato had gained four more 'harem girls' as Francis dubbed them bringing his 'harem' count up to ten. All four decided to put on nurse outfits (better then the hospital gown 2 of them had.... according the Zoey at least)

they were named Tsukiumi, Musubi, Kazehana, and Matsu. Musubi wouldn't let go for of him for 10 minutes, Tsukiumi tried to kill him until he turned around so she could change, Kazehana had tried chopping all his clothes off on more than one occasion and Matsu kept trying to drag him off the various rooms to do the same as Kazehana.

Minato was rather glad they were going to be at the helipad soon. He didn't know how much longer he could last between the death hugs, death threats, and seduction attempts.

~at the radio room/helipad

the survivors were situated in the room with the radio in it with all 5 survivors and one ex-witch in the room (she was there in case a boomer got in a lucky shot and the horde swarmed) and 3 ex-witches on each of the closest rooftops all heavily supplied with various object that could be thrown at any special infected that tried to kill the group.(Molotov cocktails and pipe bombs pretty much)

"alright I'll call us in" Minato went over and turned on the radio.

"Hello? Hello is anyone there? This is safe zone zeta asking once again if anyone is at mercy hospital. Please, pick up if you are there."

"This is mercy hospital. We hear you loud and clear we've got 15...errrr....survivors ready for extraction. Ya may wanna bring the biggest helicopter ya got."

"acknowledged mercy. we've got the big two bladed chopper* ready for big groups of people or people with working vehicles that call in. we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

*(AN:not sure what these are called but they used to fly over my house all the time)

"take your time zeta we've got this place locked down."

"alright guys looks like we got 15 minutes of fun before we get lifted to a safe zone!" Minato said enthusiastically.

~15 minutes later~

the 'battle' was rather anti-climactic. The only scare the group had was when one hunter deciding lunging at the busty pale woman was a bad idea so he crept up behind Zoey. She turned just as he clawed her torso. The result was her losing her shirt and jacket which cause her to punch the hunters skull in in embarrassment.

she held Francis at gunpoint until he gave her his jacket.

The helicopter pilot was to busy staring at the girls (been a while since he's seen a woman. Being in the air all the time and all) to notice the foot-long claws each of them had.

-Safe zone zeta-

~two weeks later~

the group was actually given an entire apartment building. Minato and his 'harem' took the top floor, Zoey the fourth, Francis the third, Louis the second, and bill the ground floor. Apparently 'safe zone zeta' was actually a decent sized walled off town in a mildly rural area. Depending on what the survivors brought with them and contributed to the group the better lodging they got. Seeing as how each girl carried at least one advanced gun ( M-16, hunting rifle, or auto shotgun) with at least one hundred bullets for the latter two and three hundred for the former. every member of the group also had at least one kind of grenade, pills, and a med-pack each. They were looked at in very high regards among the other survivors.

And they all lived happily ever after..... well maybe not Minato. He was bedridden with severe exhaustion almost every other week.

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aaaaaaaand there ya have it. **EDIT: **as of 11/23/09 this is no longer a self insert. After getting a negative review about it from a author I respect very much (devilkeyswriting) I finally got off my lazy ass a thought of an anime character that fit. And who better then minato? Sure he's one of the 'limp-dick hero that somehow gets a harem' type of character that I'm sick of but at least the fans/reader will like him more then me. (ow, my pride.)

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currently reading: cracked mask, by denim88 rated M (because of HEAVILY implied sexual intercourse between Naruto and Nel)

currently listening to: music I downloaded (I 3 you BitTorrent) two of which being 'demon phenomenon' by rob zombie and 'cyanide sweet tooth' by Shinedown.


	4. four: scoring the orange one

Hello again fan fiction dot net the magnificent. it is I your presi-err sorry to much fallout.

Now children. Have you ever seen a porn picture and thought,"i wonder what the story behind that is?" no? Well I do. And here is one such story I thought up after seeing two teen titans pics by 'wagner'.

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-Titans tower-

-Robin's office-

~Thirty minutes after fight with cinder-block~

"Raven, Beastboy, I know you to have become.... active, in your relationship recently" 'Note to self soundproof raven's room and clean BB's room with fire... _a lot_ of fire' "and I'm alright with team members dating. I also realize fighting 'normal' villains like cinder block seem like a chore after fighting super villains like Slade, Brother Blood, or Trigon but, Beastboy, that does NOT mean you can run up behind raven and shout 'SUPRISE BUTTSECKS' and the proceed to do it right in the middle of a battle!"

Raven looked like her normal bored self but if he looked hard enough he could have seen a faint blush on her normally Grey skin. Beastboy looked more proud then ashamed or embarrassed said "dude, your just pissed you can't get Starfire in the sack."

Robin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, careful not to knock his perma-worn mask off. "That is besides the point. Now please leave so I can think of a suitable punishment" making a shooing motion with his hand toward the door while turning his chair toward the wall/window in his office.

"Dude, if you let us off the hook I may be able to help you get in Starfire's armor" BB chanced, grinning perversely. Robin turned around, looking curious at his long time comrade. tenting his hands in a familiar pose he stated "go on"---

-Another universe-

Gendo looked down on his unaware son. He WOULD make a lasting impression him and his son's first meeting in ten years even if he had to kill a couple of bridge bunnies to do it. 'He will know who's the boss after this' he got into his signature pose (he also noted he felt less original when he did but brushed it off) 'remember Gendo, use the big voice, no sneezing, and for the love of god never blink'

"Hello so-ah AH **AH** **CHOO**" he proceeded to sneeze snot all over the observation window....'Well fu-

-Back in the DC universe-

"Well dude, its simple. Shes an alien who has no idea what _customs _we have. So if you, say, made one up. She wouldn't know. Think about it." BB said standing up and leaving.

Robin had much thinking to do.

-Outside Starfire's door-

~Ten minutes later~

*****Knock Knock***** "Starfire its Robin there's something i forgot to tell you." Starfire opened the door and responded "tell me what friend robin?" "I just forgot to properly welcome you to earth . I am terribly sorry but because I forgot to when we first met its going to take a couple of hours to make up for it." "That is no problem friend I am eager to receive your greeting!" Robin twitched at the innuendo in her statement and decided he needed to hurry. "well then, we must do this alone, in private, we can use your room if that is alright?" "Of coarse! Please, come in. I'm afraid it is weekly blargl'spletch day so I am not allowed to clean my room" She said, leading him in. Robin noticed all of her outfits strewn half hazardously across the room, specifically her panties. 'screw patience and tact' "lets get started immediately." He said before tossing her onto the bed. He only had one thought as he dove on his prize.

'Beastboy's definitely getting that scooter he wanted'

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I'm not very happy with the ending but, meh, whatever it was a spur of the moment idea that was more based around the first half then the second.

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currently reading: (T.T) nothing! *sob* I ran out of stories to read!

I'm gonna go see if I'm interested in one of the stories I already read, or find more stories.

Please, feel free to recommend some, I'm open to pretty much anything but yoai, Kiba/Hina, and Naruto stories that don't have Naruto as the main character.

**EDIT:** 11/23/09 some grammar errors and capitol letters fixed.


	5. five:Run Ichigo, Run!

OK I'm working on something big so be patient. This is to hold yall over till I can finish the 1/5 of it. (it has 5 chapters)

Let me tell you a story children. One day a fan fiction reader came upon a story called 'Run, Ichigo Run' now, this fan liked this story so much that he read the sequel. After reading and enjoying the sequel our protagonist noticed it hadn't updated in a couple of months, feeling sad he was just going to add it to his alert list and hope like so many other stories before it. "But nay!" Said his long forgotten muse. "Ye shall write!" (yes his muse sounds like Orpheus, master of strings from Persona 3) and so he did! He wrote two Omakes something he didn't think possible before. Two days after he sent them to the author the story updated! And there was much rejoicing!

Moral?: instead of pestering the author with requests, write something that will lighten his/her day, make him/her laugh, and think 'hey, this guy/girl likes my story so much he/she write a funny little story about it. I should update it to show I still care about it!'

So ya. This is what I wrote. Keep in mind I wrote this all in the review window so its gonna be a little rough. I just copypasta'd it right here. I'll try and tune it up a little though.

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GREAT story man i love it. I was even inspired enough to write some omakes/jokes.

takes place in Yamamoto's office in chapter 2  
Omake idea 1

-Screw you guy I'm-a goin home-

"Now, then" Yamamoto said acting like everything was perfectly normal, "Are you happy to meet these fine, outstanding ladies my boy?"

Ichigo glared at the old man struggling to break free."No! while these woman are all very beautiful I will not be a man-whore dammit!"

While most of the woman were busy blushing or feeling quite flattered Yamamoto was getting annoyed "You will marry these women for the good of the soul society! or else we'll throw you in jail, drug you, and make u give us super shinigami babies!" He yelled losing his temper.

Ichigo put on an overly exaggerated thinking pose "well that's a very tempting threat slash order. I think I will make my own *ahem* screw you I'm joining Aizen!" before anyone could react Ogihci's mask formed on Ichigo's face and he used the 'tear the universe a new one... no jutsu' (i forgot what the teleporting thing is called) to open a whole in the dimensions and escape to Hueco Mundo.

Yamamoto summed the general thoughts of everyone in the room

"well fu-

Hueco Mundo - Two weeks later

We find our orange haired hero walking the halls along Aizen in official Espada gear with the tattoo for the number ten on his shoulder. (i couldn't think of anyone to kill off quickly and Yammy is kind of a prick)

"Its great that you finally joined the winning side Ichigo" Aizen stated  
"Well the other guys wanted to use me as a breeding tool so I didn't have much choice" Ichigo countered  
"Of coarse, of coarse, soul society will do anything if it boosts their own power, and of coarse we wouldn't do anything so... unsavory to our members here. (insert 'i know something you don't smile') AH here we are, your room." explained Aizen  
"...er i don't mean to sound ungrateful but the door looks like a bank safe." cautioned Ichigo  
'Think Aizen, think! Put that sexy evil brain to wor-GOT IT!'"why Ichigo as i said we respect our members here this is mostly for the weaker members so they can lock themselves in if we are ever invaded, we added the new doors to all the rooms so we could call it fair."'Your a genius Aizen'

While Aizen was busy generously stroking his ego Ichigo decided to see what his room was like. After venturing in, all he saw was no less than 10 very attractive women dressed in bath robes lounging on the biggest heart shaped bed he had ever seen. He was about to run when Aizen poked his head through the door.  
"Ah, yes, Ichigo remember when i said we don't do the whole 'forced breeding'(insert air quotations) thing? ...Well... I lied! now get cracking. Super Espada babies don't make themselves!" Aizen yelled as he slammed the vault door. Ichigo turned around to all the lustful faces and muttered what best summed up his situation.  
"well...fu-

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So what'ya think? I got a positive review from the author so I figured I would go post it here so I can buy some ti- I mean so you all would have more of my wonderful writing....

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currently reading: Naruto's big secret by Final Knightmare

also reading: Pokemon-X (a Pokemon sprite web-comic about May, Brendan, Wally, and all their wacky hijinks.)

c ya in a little while folks.

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**EDIT:** 11/23/09 Spelling errors and yet more capitol letters. A word of warning. I'm running short on time and motivation to fix all these old chapters so I'm gonna skip six.


	6. six:bad news gang

Hmmmm. I'm... confused. Up until right before I started this I had dozens of little snippets a week. But after writing this I realize the they are just that. Snippets. Its one amusing sentence here, or a paragraph there. Its not full stories. It would take longer to explain the situation then it would the snippet itself.

So I'm afraid I must say that I'm (partially) retiring. Updates are gonna be... rare. My advice? If ya actually wanna read one of em just alert this story and enjoy the pleasant surprise when it does update.

I will post what I was working on thou. Feel free to adopt this chapter or any of the chapters (except 5) if ya wanna make full stories out of em. Same rules as the challenges apply, just tell me so I can read what ya make.

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU ARE NOT 18 LEAVE NOW! And if your below 18 and don't want to leave...... well the prepare to have whatever innocence you have left violently stripped from you.

Can't say I didn't give fair warning

Okay here's the deal. I was browsing 4chan on my daily 'holy shit WTF is that?!' hunt and I came across a doujinshi called "Seiso Tsuidansha" it involves a lot of weird shit, mainly body detachment. The main characters penis gets.... well..... pulled off (cringe worthy sight for even the toughest male) in a bullying incident and ONLY when attached to something can he feel it. Hes also very easily aroused, its in his genes I guess. Anyway I decided 'it needs more Naruto!' soooooo here we are the first, and probably only, Naruto/Seiso Tsuidansha crossover! As the doujin is cut into 5 chapters I will also cut it into five chapters.

Welcome to chapter 1 out of 5 of....! ... I can't fuggin think of a name... um... ok this is gonna sound so lame but its all I got.

Welcome to chapter 1 of 5 of, The lust and times of Uzumaki 'Ryu' Naruto! Or 'TLTURN'

AUTHORS NOTE AIMED AT THE FANS/READERS: in a lot of Naruto stories I've seen the author refuses to write a lemon because the characters were minors. (usually 12) now, I understand this, BUT, THEY- and you can fuckin quote me on this I don't care- THEY ARE JUST LETTERS! Strung together in to form sentences, and forming a story. YOU are the one who reads the story, and your brains translated the letters into thoughts. Those thoughts are then interpreted by you. No body- and I repeat for effect here- NO BODY is having sex with minors. Its just letters, sentences. Paragraphs, and eventually a story.

Its not kiddy porn its just symbols.

grow up people.

Thank you for listening to my rant. Now using mah awesome author-ly might I command this story to commence!

* * *

Character bios

Ino Yamanaka

Age: 12

Personality: reserves and quite, gossip queen, VERY prideful.

Additional notes: she can pretty much do whatever the hell she wants in class, as the gossip queen she has dirt on just about everyone.

NO ONE crosses her... or else!

she has even masturbated in class just to flaunt that she could. She is never without her notebook, which is said to hold all of her blackmail material. It is also rumored she even has dirt on the hokage but that rumor has never been confirmed. (its just a copy, but only she knows that) due to 'blooming early' as it were she is also very proud of her massive(for her age) B cup breasts.

Fun fact: a common known fast is that Inuzuka Kiba is the only male to ever touch her 'epic bewbs' ,as they are referred to by most of the males in the class, it is also commonly known the Ino enlisted the help of a rat masked ANBU member (no body knows how but everyone has an educated guess) to capture him, tie him up, and shove a 6 In. red hot metal rod up his ass for a full 2 hours. He eventually healed but he stays as far away from Ino as he can and does whatever she says(more-so then everyone else), sometimes without even being told.

Hanabi Hyuuga

Age: 9

Personality: cock tease, flirt, overall brat to just about anyone but her friends

Side note: she is the very definition of 'pedo-bait' with her charms and lolicon-like body she lures would-be pedofiles into alleyways, knocks them out, and robs their sorry asses blind. Even going as far as to sometimes take their clothes off of them and burn them so they have to run naked back home.

Fun fact: Only Ino, Ami and Hanabi herself know this but with the money she gets from pedo-hunting she tries to find the most pleasurable dildo.

She has yet to find one that she likes.

Additional fun fact: Hanabi is a prodigy among prodigies in the Hyuuga clan and has jumped 3 years in the academy skipping 'civilian school' entirely.

Sakura Haruno

Age:12

Personality: intelligent, kind hearted, always supportive of Naruto whenever he needs it due to the reasons that are stated below.

Fun fact: Sakura was actually a MASSIVE crybaby when she was little but Naruto stood up for her and fought off Ami and the rest of her bullies. She has been friends with him ever since.

Hinata Hyuuga

Age 12

Personality: sadistic when needed, a hopeless romantic, and the leader of the femme fatales of this story.

Fun facts: secretly has a crush on Uzumaki Naruto, she expresses this by mercilessly bullying him. (F-ed up eh?)

Naruto 'Ryu' Uzumaki

Age: 13 (held back once in civilian school)

Personality: protective of his friends, submissive to the femme fatales on a count of his nindo being "never hurt women, and always do as they say", has a VERY mild crush on Sakura Haruno (it was once very large but after being friends with her it dissipated quite a bit.

Fun facts: he is the container of the kyuubi, everyone knows this fact, nobody cares. (just go with it Kyuubi will play a very little part in the story)

Additional sidenote: has the middle name of Ryu because of due to mastering the water dragon jutsu at the age of twelve in just 4 hours. He knows Kage Bunshin also, we'll just say his mom taught him, for the sake of the story.

Kushina Uzumaki

Age: 32

Personality: read below

V V

Fun fact: after Naruto was born she lost a lot of blood, in fact she was so low on blood her brain didn't have enough for 10 or so minutes until the doctors gave her a blood pack. This caused her to be well... eccentric, very very eccentric. She loves her son dearly and is took an instant liking to Sakura.

* * *

Chapter one: OH GOD WHY!

"Sweetie I know its been thirteen years since you died but,..... forgive me but I forgot your anniversary until I looked at the calendar! So you'll have to accept this offering of a bowl of ramen we had for dinner last night, I'm sorry theirs no ramen in it but I was hungry, and I'm sorry about last year when I was spring cleaning and accidentally threw away your photo and had tho replaced it with Kakashi's." Kushina prayed in front of her alter to her husband. She heard the door open in the front door hallway. "sounds like Naruto-kun is home!"

"Hi honey!" Kushina greeted

"Hi mom...." Naruto stated hoping she would notice he was dressed in girls clothing.

"…?" she didn't "Did you decide to make a life changing choice without telling me.?" she asked thinking he decided to become a cross-dresser.

"your a jerk ya know that..." Naruto said running back to his room to change

"J-jerk, who are you calling jerk mister!"

*knock knock!

"Your a jerk!!" Kushina shouted opening the door, unintentionally yelling right in Sakura Haruno's face. "oh, its Sakura-chan from next door! How nice to see you dear." Kushina greeted pulling a complete 180.

Sakura, used to Kushina's eccentricities blushed for unknown reasons and handed over a bunch of clothes stating "Um... here are Naruto-kun's clothes, he had to take them off at school so I kept them so I could give them back."

Kushina took the clothes and sniffed them "yup they smell like Naruto-kun alright! Wait! Is he getting bullied at school?" she demanded. "yes, there are three particular girls out to get him. They make him do errands for them, steal his money, they beat him up and strip him naked, and make him wear girls clothes." Sakura explained sitting down at the kitchen table with Kushina.

"Why didn't I notice this?" the mom wondered out loud. "wait did you say **girls **were bullying him?"

"Yes, there are three particularly impudent girls in our class. I'm sorry Kushina I'm his childhood friend and the class president, I should be able to stop this."

"No need to apologize!" Kushina all but yelled as she clapped both her hands over Sakura's.

Sakura blushed further and started to fidget. "My boy really respects you I doubt he thinks any less of you" Kushina declared.

"ah, yes thank you" Sakura managed to stutter out as she got up and left.

Kushina decided to go check on her son. As she got to into Naruto room she saw him on his bed sitting with his back turned her, his posture the very definition of depressed.

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun, momma didn't realize" she hugged him from behind and kissed his temple. *sigh "it's OK mom I just wish they would stop, they know about my nindo at take advantage of me. I feel so useless." she thought for a second before responding. "Don't worry sweetie you'll grow up big and strong just like your father, everything will be okay." she rocked back and forth as she comforted him.

" Ya, thanks mom" he said feeling sleepy.

~**The next day**~

-**the shinobi academy**-

Sakura is sitting in her seat at the front of the class thinking 'okay the three girls are, Hanabi Hyuuga hobbies? Using he loli body to trick and steal from pedos.

Ino Yamanaka, despite her status as gossip queen she is about as far from a peppy school-girl as anyone could get, very quite and laid back. Also despite her unique bust she has never been in any relationships with any male. She brings food into class and slacks off, doing things at her own pace and generally ignoring the teacher as much as possible. In fact our normally strict teacher Iruka-sensei does nothing to stop this behavior, many of the students correctly guess that she is blackmailing him.'

to prove her point true lets take a look-see inside Iruka's desk shall we? If we look in the secret cabinet

we find a picture of Iruka and Kakashi making out after getting completely hammered at Kakashi's promotion party.

'and last but not least Hinata Hyuuga. Remarkably curvy and even bustier then Ino she is known for beating anyone who looks at her in even the tiniest amount of lust within an inch of their lives. She is also the leader of the cliche of bullies who are bullying Naruto-kun. Everyone tries to ignore them, even Naruto-kun but.... they dragged Naruto-kun out again!'

"i have to use the restroom!" she shouted and ran outside before Iruka could attempt to stop her.

-supply shed-

We find our protagonist on his knees, hand, feet, and mouth bound, naked, with a ball gag made out of his socks in his mouth. The three girls surrounded him.

"C'mon get that cock of yours good and stiff right now!" one of the shouted

They all watched as he grew to full mast at 7 inches.

"hah hah hah he got a boner just from looking at us! Were not even naked hehehe."

Naruto started to try and get free from his bindings. "ya'know its not good to struggle, jeez your being unusually defiant today!" Hanabi said while flicking his dick.

"we'll just have to _punish_ your for that... your body that is." She said as she tied the rope around his penis. She also removed his sock gag.

The girls started tugging at the rope attached to the pulley on the ceiling, yanking Naruto's crotch up in the air.

"GAAAAAAAH"

"who check it out, its turning a funny shade of blue" Ino mused as she observed the effects of their work.

"it would really be bad if we pulled it off hehehe. And what would you do then? You've only got one cock after all! But then it ain't exactly the best specimen. Very poor shape, oozing with juices..." Hanabi teased but inside she was thinking otherwise.'whoa... that's the most amazing cock I've ever seen! Its strength, its curvature, its angle... it looks so delicious I can hardly keep myself from drooling! His balls look so full of thick semen... I don't think I can resist it for very much longer.'

"you sure were quick to start tearing up huh? Are you really a man? Its not gonna tear off by just _dangling _there geez." Hinata also had secret thoughts on the matter. 'damn it! Why does his cute teary eyes face look so cute! Its not fair! That sweet face sends a kunai straight through my noble heart. Ohhh... how I want that beautiful cock thrusting inside me, to see that teary face of his as we cum together, but no, I can't be have him, I'm a clan heiress and hes just a commoner!'

"...boo" Ino said as she swiftly tugged the rope. She wasn't thinking anything except about a romance novel she had read once.

…

…

"ah, fuck it!" the girls yelled as they yanked the rope so hard he went a good three feet up in the air.

"GUAAH!"

Sakura, who was looking for them heard him and poked her head in the door of the shed just in time to notice what happened next, and then promptly passing out

*pop!

The three girls stared in horror. Naruto was unconscious at the sight and frothing at the mouth at the sight.

Naruto's penis had just... popped off!

"AUGH!" the girls screamed as they started to panic. Hanabi cradled Naruto's body in her lap, Ino collapsed to her knees in shock, and Hinata was playing hot potato with herself with his penis trying to catch it.

"NARUTO-KUN DON'T DIE! HANG IN THERE!" Hanabi screamed

"white." Ino mumbled."everything's gone white"

"DON'T DIE BEFORE IVE HAD SEX WITHO YOU! IF YOU DON'T DIE I'LL HAVE SEX WITHO YOU LATER!" Hanabi continued to yell.

"waaaah" Hinata cried accidentally throwing his penis on Ino's face.

"If he get appropriate treatment tight away, it can be re-attached!" Ino tried to remain calm while explaining it.

"really!"

"if its severed cleanly we can wrap it in a cloth... pack it in ice....and" she started slowing down as she examined the 'wound'

"w-what is it?"

"does this look like a sever wound to you?" Ino asked turning the penis so they could see the 'wound', it was just flat smooth skin with a stylish N written on it with a seal covering every other part of the 'wound'.

"..." they were completely confused.

"ah... ah.... m-my penis... what happened?!" Naruto asked finally waking from his shock-coma.

"if the _owner _of this cock doesn't even know whats going on how fuck are we supposed to know?" Hinata wondered aloud.

"then let us go over what we _do _know" Ino calmly explained while Hanabi was rubbing her face against Naruto's in relief.

" Firstly, when his penis came off the was no blood, it must still be healthy. There is no external wound so it was not cut or severed at all. Second, the strange mark at the point of severance suggests it was actually removed by some unknown but highly advanced jutsu. Third, see how returning it shows it doesn't match the corresponding point of severance on the body." Hanabi proved her point by trying to stick it back on, but it refused to re-attach. "fourth, and her's where it gets interesting, when the cut surface is not in contact with anything Naruto-kun doesn't feel anything from it. However push the base of it down on a surface and...."

Naruto gasped when she put the base on the table.

"... the penis suddenly springs back to life and activity, and the sensations are fed back to Naruto-kun causing him to get an erection, like so." she finished explaining as she started slowly pumping her hand up and down his shaft.

"what about urination and ejaculation? I'll must investigate further." Ino mumbled

"I didn't realize it at first but..." Hanabi continued, "WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF FUN WITH THIS"

"m-my penis." Naruto mumbled in shock, just now realizing he didn't own his equipment anymore.

-classroom-

"now from this we..." the Iruka droned on as usual.

'they took my penis... what are they gonna do with it? I'm not manly like this, i-i can't tell anyone about this!' Naruto thought in a panic. While Hanabi grinned like the cat who caught the canary a few seats behind him, in the back with the other two girls.

"I'm not wasting any time... I'm gonna have some_ fun_ with this." Hanabi said while placing Naruto's dick on her chair, the 'thigh fucking' it. (using her inner thighs like a titfuck for those who don't know) the other 2 girls just grinned and waited for his reaction.

"guuhh" Naruto let out a slight grunt when he felt something. 'their doing it in the middle of classes... but who?! Who's touching my penis? Where did she stick it?! It feels good, Pressed between something, moving up and down. Her flesh feels so soft! I'm getting all slippery.'

"okay, I want three students who's number is between are between four and ten to come up and solve this question." Iruka declared.

"what?" Naruto's mind was in a slight haze and he didn't hear him, unknowingly volunteering.'Ah man, please stop making me feel good in front of the whole class!' He thought standing up, and making his way over to the blackboard.

"Heh, 3 I can't resist." Hanabi whispered lining lil' naru up with her pussy. She suddenly sat down, forcing hid dick all the way in right as he got to Iruka's desk.

"Aaaah" Naruto's hips thrust forward uncontrollably, he cleverly disguised it as a stumble though. Not so clever was the fact that he actually tripped in his effort to make it look real, smashing his head into the chalkboard.

"you okay Naruto?" Iruka asked worriedly, he could practically FEEL Naruto's head hit the board.

"f-fine" Naruto said getting back up and grabbing some chalk, trembling almost noticeable all the while.

Hinata, who was right beside him decided to clue him in on the good news. "congratulations on losing your virginity Naruto-kun 3."

"s-so this is what a pussy feels l-like." Naruto managed to stutter out

-back of the class-

"s-say, how does it feel? Any good?" Ino asked Hanabi

"this is the best freakin cock ever!"

"no way!" Ino muttered remembering Hanabi's 'collection' .

"of all my hundreds of dildos this is the best." Hanabi admitted, drooling heavily. "the bumpy ones, the long ones, the thick ones, the thick ones... nothing compares to this! The be-e-est!" she almost shouted, now bouncing on it at full speed.

-front of the class-

"hey are you okay Naruto-kun? Your face is red and your sweating!" Sakura asked while they walked back to their seats. "is something wrong?"

"thanks... but I'm f-fine" Naruto said while thinking 'I can't say anything! I can't exactly say 'I'm having sex right now'!

"well... if you're sure."

-back of the class-

"he's rock hard! And throbbing!" Hanabi gushed. Still going full speed. "I'm coming! I'm coming!"

-front of class-

"AGH! No!" Naruto said, almost shouted, and collapsed onto the ground, legs giving out.

-back of the class-

"NNNNGH!" Hanabi grunted as she felt Naruto's cum shoot up into her pussy. "sooooo gooood" she murmured eyes almost rolling back into her head as she collapsed onto her desk.

-front-

"Naruto-kun are you okay!?" Sakura rushed over to his prone, shaking, form.

"AHH. C-can't stop c-coming! I-i can't stop" He whispered low enough so no one could hear, drool making a stream down his chin.

-back-

"AHH! 3 He... he's not stuh... stopping! H-he's amazing!" Hanabi muttered in a dreamlike tone as the other two girls watched in envy as the excess cum seeped out of her pussy, pooling on the chair.

"does anyone know first aid!?" Iruka shouted thinking Naruto may be in serious trouble.

"we volunteer to take him to the school infirmary!" Hinata declared, standing up along with Ino, Hanabi was to busy enjoying the afterglow of her orgasm along with a spurt or two of cum left still in Naruto's cock to notice anything.

"You don't know first aid!"

"no, we don't" she stated calmly.

"then.... wh-?"Iruka inquired, confused but was cut off

"sir!" Ino stated with a generous dose of command in her statement.

"fine, fine! Take him..." Iruka relented, while Sakura fumed at her desk.

-school infirmary-

"n-no wait!" too late, Hanabi was already trying to suck his tongue down her throat.'my first kiss' he absently thought.

"you're amazing Naruto-kun! I give you and your dick a ten out of ten! She gushed undoing his button and zipper. His pants joining the pile in the corner of the room with his shirt.

"but.. I didn't-" he started but was cut off.

"Whoa!... its so hard" Ino mused while tit-fucking his cock.(which was set on the middle of a stool)

"I've never seen a dick this hard before" 'then again I've never seen a hard dick before today' Hinata relented while licking the head.

"i-its not like that..." he tried to plead his case, but was ignored.

"It even ejaculated perfectly" Ino noticed while Hinata shouted. "we've got ourselves the best sex-toy ever!"

"please give me my penis back!" Naruto pleading for an answer, he got one, but not the one he was hoping for.

"why?! How could you bring such pleasure to my pussy! I outta rent your kick-ass toll out to everybody!" Hanabi cackled

Naruto was starting to panic now. "y-you can't do that! It's my penis! You can'-"

Hinata, using her foot, shoved a hunk of unidentified cloth into his mouth before declaring. "i don't give a fuck about what you think!"

"Wah! Sis you panties are soaked!" Hanabi said, thus identifying the previous mystery cloth.

"you'd better keep those panties in your mouth! And don't even think about swallowing any of my love juices or your dead meat!"

* * *

the method I used was just read a page of the doujin, and then modify it so it fit the Naruto-verse. Their were gonna be more Naruto related stuff later (I.E chakra usage for sex, Kyuubi {she, yes she, would play a relatively little part tho})

this chapter should put me over 6K words so I can officially BETA read for people. So at the very least this story served a useful purpose besides inform me yet again that I cannot write to save my life.

C ya ppl


	7. seven:into the multiverse

I'm currently suffering from mild insomnia. I sleep for three hours a night and then... nothing, nada, zilch. No rest for the wic- err Slicerness means I'm rather loopy at the moment. After fanta- I mean thinking about norithic's character tailsko i gots ta thinkin.

What if tails made a machine to visit alternate universes!

You'll have to forgive any spelling grammar errors I'm tired, cranky, loopy, and just a wee bit horny... damn morning wood.

ANYWAY! Enjoys your crack.

* * *

Tails was bored. Simple as that. He was currently 14 and experiencing the _wonders _of puberty. He kept himself from jumping Cream, Amy, Wave or and of the females he knew by locking himself in his lab and simply brainstorming on what to build or do on that given day.

He had already build an arm cannon that was stored in his glove. All he had to do was clap twice and his arm was covered in what looked like the lovechild of Megaman's 'mega-buster' and Samus Aran's arm blaster cannon thing. (AN: Does her gun have a name?)

A growth power gem, which was actually a failed experiment trying to make the first ever man(fox)-made chaos emerald, it was a thin cylindrical green crystal about 3 inches in length. All he had to do was loop a heavy duty string through it and wear it around his neck and he had damn near infinite stamina, Came in handy when Eggman send his egg-themed robot of the week after everyone.

After working out with Knuckles for most of his thirteenth year of life he was actually rather fit now. As compared to his scrawny ten year old self back in the day he felt he had improved by leaps and bounds.

But no, his crowning achievement was the Multi-verse door.(R) it was exactly how it sounded. If you didn't know any better one would assume it was just a normal door, just sitting in the middle if his 'safe room', a room several dozens of stories under the ground with several feet of various metal shielding. But in reality it was a door to other dimensions. He wall a little surprised he didn't just _appear _out of nowhere in a dimension of his choosing. No, it was actually more like a ritzy hotel. His invention simply connected his dimension to the hotel. Incidentally his was dimensional room number 8.

He had made several discoveries over the period of 6 months that he roamed the various universes. He decided to list them off for expositions sake.

Every dimension was numbered by it room number. As stated his was 8. number 1, he later found was actually the base universe. It was 'canon' meaning he was still a short 10 year old, Amy was still obsessed over sonic, (she moved on when tails was turning 13) cream didn't have a gun fetish, (he wasn't sure how that came about but considering vanilla had managed to 'find' enough weapons to fuel a good size army overnight he could only guess cream was introduced to the 'family business') and shadow was still a f*ckin emo. (he grew out of that... mostly)

-Upon the act of opening one of the doors a 'room key' appears in the individuals possession. When one is done visiting dimension (_insert number here_) all he or she must do is thrust the key into the open air and twist to the left and a door appears so he or she can return to the 'hotel' .

-He would later learn that some dimensions are in fact on 'stand by', only an idea until someone arrives in it. He would also later joke that these kind universes are kind of like a video game, because whenever he left the universe would 'pause'. Only when he returned would the metaphorical 'play' button be pushed. He also found out in these stand by universes he would sometimes gain knowledge of what happened to 'him' up until that point. Memories of his 'life' in that dimension to put it simply.

-Every dimension had a 'gender bender' alternate where everything was the same except everyone swapped genders. Tails nearly threw up when he saw a female eggman. These were generally the odd number after the even. Example: number nine (one dimension after his own) he met Tailsko. He had almost instantly fallen head over tails for her the moment he laid eyes on her, whether this was because she had an ass you could launch a quarter off of and breasts that could easily snap his neck if swung right or simply because she was fun to hang around and brainstorm with was yet to be determined however.

He later learned she had made her own version of the growth power gem, she called it power growth gem though, and it was, if fact, the reason for her rather... jiggly physique. They had compared notes, ideas, and inventions. Eventually he surprised her with a GPG, funnily enough she also surprised him with a PGG at the same time.

They spent the next three days familiarizing themselves with their new bodies.... Each others included .

After 5 months in universe 9 and a promise to visit again at least once a month tails set off to explore the various rooms.

Room 3

Tails exited the door only to find himself in a giant city. The odd thing though was though there was no one around 'Odd, it doesn't appear to be a ghost town' tails noted. He also happened to notice he was wearing black dress pants. There was also a picture in his pocket. After struggling for about 30 seconds he finally got the note out of his pockets (Hey, give the guy a break he's only worn pants a handful of times, all of which were when Tailsko wanted to cosplay(1)) after looking at it for 1.3 nanoseconds he had to hold his nose to hold in the blood threatening to pour out. It was rouge in jean shorts

that may as well have been a thong and a yellow shirt FAR to small for her DD size chesticles. It also had a message at the top, 'tails, I'll cum pick you up'... Wait wasn't come spelled with an O and an E?

As he contemplated rouges intelligence he turned around to observe more of the city. He was the almost given a heart-attack upon seeing Cream suddenly appear 5 feet away from him. At least, he thought she was cream. As far as he knew she didn't have faintly glowing red eyes and light blue and blue-white fur the last time he saw her. Apparently he spaced out while thinking this because when he re-focused his eyes she was gone. Chocking it up to his genius finally giving way to mild schizophrenia he decided to ignore it and get a better look at the city.

He suddenly had a thought pop into his head, 'Tokyo 3'. he blinked slowly and concentrated on where the thought came from, he almost cringed away at what he found. It was memories, his memories to be precise, and they weren't very pleasant to say the least.

It seems, that when he was 4, his mother was absorbed by a giant purple mecha. His father had abandoned him a week later deeming him 'useless' because he mourned for her. (Which made absolutely no sense to him) Leaving tails with a family friend, a teacher at the university his mother and father both went to.

Tails absently noted that his mother was vanilla, his father was shadow, and his 'aunt' was Bunnie Rabbot.

Just as he was about to leave this F'ed up place he saw _it_. _It_ was in fact a giant walking black skinned skeleton thing.

He felt the strange urge to offer it a sammich.

It was also surrounded from all angles by weird looking helicopters. Did he forget to mention the skeleton, who will now be know as Stabby, was slicing them right out of the sky with a beam sword-like stream of light coming from its right hand? Well sorry about that, but it was. the helicopters, VTOLs, he corrected himself upon seeing it written on the side of the planes, were firing everything from huge machine guns to huge missiles to cherry pies at it. Tails was able to see a lightly shimmering barrier acting as a second skin for Stabby protecting him from all harm... except the pies. Which in retrospect, weren't actually that dangerous making it a moot point

He was about to comment further but he was interrupted as a rather familiar shout from his right demand he "get in" he did quite know what that meant until he turned toward the voice.

It was rouge, in the same outfit as the picture, in what looked to be a purple sports car. After seeing Stabby curbestomp a low flying VTOL he decided 'to hell with it' and grabbed his key (which was hanging from his neck on the same string as his GPG and PGG) and opened the 'return door'. Running through before rouge could even ask what the key was for, unknowingly 'pausing' the world. Only to play again once he came back.

* * *

(1) They were having sex on a regular basis for 5 months. Shit happens.

* * *

I may continue this later. Not the Evangelion universe though. Just other universes I had in mind

* * *

currently reading: Shinji and Warhammer 40k by Charles Bhepin

special thank to: SimmyC whose fic 'the unfortunate life of Shinji Ikari' I used as research because I forgot some of the canon shit that happened.

Now... my stomach won't shut the hell up and it 9 am which means it breakfast time. C ya people.

**EDIT:** Yet more capitol letter!! And some minor spelling mistakes.


	8. eight:just a little bit selfish

"don't leave me again."

"NOOOOOOOO!"

sparrow let the tears fall freely as he heard this.'I'm sorry rose' he needed to move on, to pull himself together. For everyone's sake.

After a full 5 minutes of grieving for what he was giving up, he started walking down the path. The skies turned red, and he started seeing some very disturbing sights. Gypsies, civilians, bandits, town guards, every type of person from every walk of life were dead in front of him. Some, impaled on spears. Others, on fire.

At last he reached the altar. Only to find the music box. Something told him to pick it up.

He obeyed.

As soon as he touched the box the world went dark. There was only him, still a child, holding the box that started everything.

He started see visions of his life, first the simpler times. The happiness of him and Rose when they were the age he appeared to be now. Then, the wonder, when him and Teresa first entered the Hero's guild. The sorrow when hammer's father died. The pride when he conquered the crucible. The shame, when he allowed an innocent woman to die so that a scumbag like Reaver may live another day. The anger and defiance, when the commandant tried to break him. The rage, when Lucien informed him he had killed his darling wife, Maria, and their little devil of a daughter, Amy, and then just to be a complete ass, shot his dog, Aden. (pronounced exactly like its spelled A-den, its German)

"you have passed the test, you reward is the opportunity to confront your enemy... and the means to destroy him" He heard Teresa say softly.

Sparrow suddenly found himself in the spire again. He was in a hallway, about 20 feet from a flight of stairs. He did a quick check of his gear. *Hal's rifle? Check. **Knothole armor? Check. ***master cleaver with ghoul augment? Check. 'Alright, that everything' sparrow thought starting up the two flights of stairs.

*(for those who don't know in the DLC 'knothole island' you can acquire a rifle that looks like the assault rifle from halo. Its not as powerful as the weapons you should have by then but the fire rate makes up for it in my opinion)

**(the armor looks amazing when you're the hero. The halo makes you look like an angelic warrior)

***(it drains health)

Being used to running everywhere in bulky armor it was to be expected that sparrow wasn't even winded after walking up two stories worth of stairs.

What he saw when he looked around was rather predictable. Lucien, on an alter with 4 circles connected to one middle circle, was sucking the power from the three other hero's.

"your power is astounding! Twice you have cheated death." Lucien said, slightly shocked to see the boy (in his mind) alive.

Sparrow remained silent.

"Your abilities are trivial however compared to what I will soon acquire."

Sparrow once again remained silent.

"now... sleep" Lucien commanded casting the spell for the second time on our hero.

Sparrow remained standing however. After a second to bask in Lucien's shock he pulled out the music box from under his arm, it started glowing, then shot a beam of light straight at Lucien.

"What! What is that?! What are you doing?!" He started panting for breath but continued on with his speech." Do you this that trinket will save you?! Do you think anything can?!" He taunted, but as the box cut off the stream coming from hammer however Lucien started singing a different tune "stop! Think about what you are doing! I will put an end to chaos!" his voice took on a slight tone of madness toward the end.

As the beam from Garth disappeared however he tried another approach "stop now you fool, you insect! I order you to stop!" he commanded.

The beam from Reaver stopped seconds later "sleep! I command you to sleep! Sleep!!!" He shouted desperately, right before the box exploded bathing everything in white light for several seconds.

When Sparrow opened his eyes the box was predictably gone and everyone but him was either knocked out on the floor (the other hero's) or on their knees (Lucien).

After struggling to get up Lucien finally started talking, in a tone that matched his age. " do you consider that a victory? You a-"

his ploy to stall sparrow backfired however, instead of freezing him in thought it angered him. His family, his wife, daughter, dog, and most importantly, rose, flashed through his minds eye. Rage, consuming him, Sparrow ran forward just as Lucien was saying 'you', yanking his cleaver off his back, spun around slicing several inches into Lucien's lower stomach. Ending his spin he pulled his rifle off his back putting the barrel dead center on his face and before Lucien could even finish the word 'are' his head snapped backwards from the force of five .566 rounds tearing into his head.

Lucien silently fell into the near endless hole that was the tower's shaft.

"I thought he'd never shut up. Nice work by the way, utterly ruthless." Reaver commented, waking up.

"Luciens dead... so now what?" hammer asked also regaining consciousness.

Before anyone could attempt to think of an answer the middle circle glowed as Teresa appeared. "Now? Now it is time for your reward, your gift for saving the world from a madman's selfish dream. The spire has awoken. It has the power to grant a single wish... yours. Come. Take my hand." Sparrow grabbed the offered and without a second thought.

As soon as he did the world was once again bathed in white light. Only himself and Teresa were visible. "you stand in the heart of the spire. As the king of the old kingdom did centuries ago. Now, it is your turn. Make your wish, but choose wisely. You wish will affect all of Albion."

Sparrow thought about everything up until this point. He was a hero in the eyes of all of Albion. He saved hundreds from slavery, had hunted down 3 times as many bounties as the leading bounty hunter, and has, just in general, been as selfless as possible. The one black spot on his record was stealing that woman's youth. He would forever regret that, just as he was about to regret this...

"I wish for my family back. all of it."

"So be it. When you return your family will be waiting. And any who might declare your actions selfish or callous, any who themselves lost family to this place, Will know that given the chance, they too, might well have made the same choice." As she finished they found themselves back in the altar room.

After several moments of silence Hammer spoke. "we heard everything" she whispered. Though they all heard her clearly.

"yes, a wish was made. The world shall bear the consequences." Teresa declared almost coldly.

"I'd do anything to bring back the once I love." Hammer continued on ignoring her.

"Oh. I think I might be ill." Reaver muttered in disgust.

"But you could have brought back thousands. All the victims of this horrible place... they had families too." she once again pointedly ignored the interruption.

"It was his decision, let him live with it." Garth cut in.

it looked like Hammer was going to start again but Sparrow cut her off. "I will forever regret my decision. But after a lifetime of being a selfless hero I think I deserve one selfish request." Sparrow plead his case.

"Yes yes yes. But on to more important matter! What about me! What do _I_ get? Cash would be nice." Reaver rudely cut in.

"I have no money for you. But I can send you anywhere you wish with the spire's power. Where do you wish to go?"

Garth was the first to respond. "i wish to go home, to Samarkand"

"Ooh. I've never to Samarkand before. Hot nights, exotic substances, and... uninhibited people." Reaver finished with a wistful smile on his face. "Its nothing like that." Garth was quick to dash his hopes with a bladed tongue. But Reaver persisted. "Trust me. I'll find the exiting bits" he finished with a wink. Garth sighed in exasperation and gave in. "Fine, but stay out of my way. And you, hammer?"

"No, I'm done" at everyone's confused stares she elaborated. "i know why we got attacked in that cave. You brought those hollow men with you. Two monks would have found nothing, but a warrior finds battle. Always." she finished, glaring Sparrow.

"If that is what you believe, I pity you, and your closed minded way of thinking." He declared coldly. The abbot was a kind old man, he did not wish for his death.

"...Send me north. I want to study under the warrior monks." replied Hammer to Teresa after a second of thought. Displaying yet again, that a monk can ignore the truth of anything, even when told straight to their face.

Reaver decided to make one last comment before being transported. "Goodbye hero, I simply can't thank you enough for dragging me into this mess." he layed the sarcasm on thick Sparrow would give him that.

Garth also had a parting statement. "i had my doubts about you at first... but I'm glad we met, and we _shall_ meet again. You can count on that."

Hammer sighed and relented. "although we may differ in morals you were a good friend, take care of yourself." Sparrow nodded as she left.

Teresa turned to him. "and now it is time for you to leave. The world is yours to enjoy. But the tower... is mine. Begone." she finished is a cold tone that should have surprised him. But it didn't, she wasn't his mother, she had never treated him like a son, just a means to an end. He respected her enough for that to go without a fight. He would give her that tower as thanks for the wish.

After all, she could have just used it herself.

Sparrow woke up in his bed in his house in Bowerstone, his gear hung up on/in its specifically made holsters/racks for it. He found his faithful furry companion Aden waiting at the foot of the bed for him. He smiled for the first time in what felt like forever and started getting out of bed and walking downstairs.

The first to see him was the ever moving 10 year old Amy. "Daddy!!" she scream running over to him, actually _launching _herself off of the love seat that was in the way wrapping her arms around his neck. He quickly hugged her to himself. One, to make sure she didn't fall, And two, to make sure she was real. He looked up and saw Maria looking at him with the same amount of love she did when they got married a little over ten years ago. walking over she hugged him as tight as she could with Amy in the middle. "i think there's someone who wants to say hello" she whispered gesturing to the couch.

The person on the couch froze Sparrow in place momentarily. "...Do you think you could give me and out guest some time to talk... alone." He told Maria. She nodded taking Amy and walking upstairs with her.

Sparrow walked over to his guest. It was rose. Still 13. Still in the rags she died in. He expected her to be happy, but from the looks of it she was just pissed.

"Ro-SLAP! He blinked, gingerly holding his cheek. "I didn't want to be brought back if it meant thousands of lives!" she screamed at him. She hugged him a second later and started crying "I hate you!" she said quieter, voice shaking.

He hugged her back, even if it was a bit difficult. She only came up to mid-chest on him.

"I know. But I have our whole lives to change your mind."

* * *

this is how I wanted fable2 to end. I chose the 'love' ending cause I wanted rose back. My family was a close second and dog a distant third (don't get me wrong I like the dog but he kept getting injured in battle. Got annoying after about 50 dog treats) and I was pissed beyond belief I don't get her back... just a fuckin note saying she's with some skinny dude. Who for all I know could be Lucien.

I would have wrote this sooner but I had no inspiration. But after reading 'selfless' a fable2 fic by inferni (which should have been called 'giving up' for reason i'll state now) in which a female hero (similar to mine quest-wise) chooses the 'sacrifice' wish and the kills herself upon realization she has nothing to go back to. It just pissed me off enough to write this. (is it just me or am I motivated by anger more then joy or actual creativity?)

* * *

currently reading: tails adventure by oneavi iroj (you should probably have at least played the games if ya wanna read this. Otherwise your probably gonna get lost easily)

currently listening to: jack shit! My goddamn music card died or something in my laptop.

If it didn't die though I would be listening to the sonic soundtrack for just about every one of his games for the Sega Genesis. (ahhh the joys of torrent files)

* * *

I hate to be a review whore here but last time I checked I had over 350 hits. And that was like 2 chapter ago. So if even 1 in 10 people review I would have 35 reviews right there. Hell i'll settle for 1 in 100 people that's still 3 people and a midgets review. (its a joke!... plz don't kill me)

so please if I pissed you off or made you think of something witty to reply about, by all means tell me. Hit the button right below this sentence.


	9. nine:who took my peelz!

Ok so I logged into my e-mail today and found EIGHT REVIEWS! As you can imagine my face was like (8-D but the after realizing they were from the Same. Damn. Person! My face was more like (-_-) now... I DID ask for reviews but that doesn't mean ask the same thing 8 times in a row... I think I actually deleted the part where I said I'm not skilled enough to make OC's and that's my bad. But just take a step back and re-read my work. Most people barely have any lines. That's not because they're mute... its because I can't think of anything to stay that I can imagine coming out of their mouth...

So I'm sorry, sekireiforever, but I can't make a OCfem-sekireiXMinato story. Ask lord of the land of fire if he'll make you a one-shot. That's your best bet. And for the love of god make an account so I can reply to you in private.

Now! On with the story that has been slowly eating away at my brain power for the past week like a Spitter goo-ing a downed survivor (its a very slow way to go)

This is my response to exactly how the survivors can completely heal themselves with just medical tape, and how they can chug an entire bottle of pain peelz and not _die_ nor choke on the damn things.

Have you ever tried swallowing more then one pill at once? Its not a pleasant experience... well, unless its vitamin E, but that doesn't count... its fish oil.

* * *

At first they thought they were dead and dreaming but the truth was much more... disturbing. They were infected. Which was odd because they had all thought they were immune. They had all been bitten after all, it was only a natural assumption.

But no, In fact they WERE infected. It was just that their bodies adapted to the virus trapping it in secluded areas and slowly absorbing it. (I'm not sure it that's possible but limf nodes work the same way right?)

The first signs were subtle, very subtle. Bill simply blew out a little more smoke then could have possibly come from his cigarette, Francis started preferring to club the 'vampires' with his auto shotgun, Louis voice got a little higher pitched when he raised his voice, and Zoey suddenly didn't feel 'complete', for a lack of a better word, without the hood of her red hoodie being pulled up. (hoody? My spell check's bein' a bitch right now)

After fighting all the way through Iowa City and making it to mercy hospital(1) and then fighting through downtown Des Moines because there pilot was a goddamn ZOMBIE! They had finally made it to Zeta Base in a rural town called Tipton out in the country in an armored van someone else had made but died before being able to use.

But they didn't feel comfortable. It wasn't their injuries, as the four had found out that they healed almost instantly after using a med-pack, and couldn't feel pain for at least 2 hours after chugging a bottle of pain pills, oh they could still be injured, they just couldn't feel it. In fact, they felt... cramped. Something inside them was screaming at them to go back out and prove to the world they were the best.

So that's what they did. They left Zeta Base in their armored vehicle, they had collected several dozen gallons of gas just in case, before they left Des Moines and headed for Bennet, a nearby town.

After going through the wilderness outside town and heading trough the warehouse district the changes started getting more pronounced. Bill found a combat sniper (the one from LFD2. I think its a G34c but I can't remember) and was getting VERY accurate with it. Francis has started putting on weight. No, not fat, muscle. He looked like a guy who worked out at least two times a week. And he had managed to find a 4 1/2 foot long 4 inch thick solid metal bar that he had taken to swinging around when he was surrounded by 'commons'. Louis was the most noticeably difference though. He could run. Fast. At least half again as fast as Zoey, who had also gotten a speed boost. Zoey had taken to sneaking around. The males of the group wouldn't even know where she was if it wasn't for the sounds of gunfire and the screeching of dieing special infected. Speaking of gunfire she had replaced her rather small 92fs pistols with two heavy duty desert eagles both painted gold. they had run across an almost dead pimp who had given them to her because she looked like his 'bottom' bitch'.

It was safe to assume his death seconds afterward wascaused by _natural_ causes...

So after continuing on through the business and residential parts of the town they had eventually ran out of town. But according to writing in the safe rooms there was a government safe house on a farm a few miles away. After deciding they needed transport to the Mississippi River they decided to check it out.

The only snag they had run into was when they had to fight through a cornfield. It was by no means easy, Zoey had gotten pounced by a hunter, Louis had gotten boomed on and was busy with the horde, Bill was grabbed by a rather fat smoker, and Francis had to fight a tank by himself

The situation looked dire until Zoey managed to cram the barrel of one of her d'eagles into the hunters mouth and turn the top of its head into a fine red mist. She the helped free Bill and they proceeded to help finish the last of the horde and go help Francis. The three were surprised however when they made there way to the house where the tank had first thrown Francis only to find out he had a new gun standing triumphantly over a very much dead tank.

His comment of "hey y'all looky what I done found, hyuk!" and then holding up his new SPAZZ 12 shotgun was met with much embarrased groans and one smack on the back of the head from the resident female of the group.

Apparently lady luck favored them that day. Sure the marines stationed there were long since dead but they expected that. No, what made the lucky was the APC parked in the barn. They scavenged all the gas, food, and ammo they could from the old farm house before setting off for the nearest side road to Davenport, the closest city that would most likely have a dock In the river.

The next week was exhausting, dangerous, and strangely, felt like a second puberty for the survivors.

The final mutations set in.

Bill could headshot a sprinting zombie from 300 yards away... with a pistol. Francis looked like the human size version of the hulk. Louis had gotten slightly faster and could actually break glass with a ability he gained. He called it 'screeching' simply because that's what it was, it also attracted the horde though so it was a last resort used against witches. Why against witches? Well it pretty much fucked with their head. Giving massive headaches,blurring vision and overall throwing them on a 'kill anything I see' frenzy. Zoey however also gained muscles, her lower arm and leg muscles felt like steel wrapped in skin, and she had grown claws, they weren't her fingernails, they were actually her newly formed spike-like finger bones poking out the end of her fingers.

The group only acknowledged they may have a problem when the king of the city, a hunter at least seven feet tall, had shown up with an army of hunters and 'challenged' Zoey to a duel of honor and ownership of the city. She had calmly given her guns to Bill and told them to not interfere. She then walked into the 100 foot diameter ring the assembled hunters had made, and dropped on all fours and growled out her acceptance of the challenge.

The fight was long a brutal. Zoey lost temporary control of her left arm near the end of the fight but managed to claw out the kings throat and take ownership of the city and all infected who resided within.

Needless to say the trip to the docks was rather easy.

Unfortunately, in an attempt to 'contain' the infection CEDA, alongside the US government, had blown up pretty much every major bridge in America. It was just an unfortunate side effect that they had managed to blow up every boat there. Impeccable aim those pilots have eh?

After a quick trip to the nearest airport and a thorough studying of a map they decided to go south, far south, to New Orleans. They heard the south was much better informed about the virus and thus, much better prepared. They were rather surprised to find out Bill could fly but he only replied, "Hey, retirements boring, ya either pick a hobby or go insane."

And so they set off not knowing greater challenges await

* * *

(1) I'm not sure if it was ever mentioned what cities/towns they were in

if ya can't figure out what Louis is read 'The adventures of a confused hunter' (I think that's what its called)

I had an alternate ending planned where they met up with the second survivors too but, meh, whatever. I'm rather pissed. I seem to have slept in... by 8 1/2 hours. Its 3:30 P.M. How I slept 14 hours I'm not sure but whatever.

Anyway I'll sum up what the epilogue was going to be.

Original 4 found second 4.

Coach was still human. Nick was becoming jocky-ish. Rochelle could make a 'poison packet' with her saliva every couple of hours or so and throw them similar to a spitter. Ellis was showing early signs of becoming a hunter.

Zoey takes a rather possessive liking to Ellis, her human side thinks hes cute and her hunter side thinks hes mate material.

Nick tries to hit on Rochelle constantly. Hes shot down every time, eventually he starts getting literally 'shot' down with acid packets. Nick had never thanked med-packs so much in his life.

And so the group set off. Trying to find somewhere they can call home... and somewhere soundproof, Ellis won't shut up about being dragged off to who-knows-where to satisfy his new mate.

* * *

currently listening to: Bad girlfriend by Theory of a Dead Man

currently reading: Elysium by Devin Warren

and about to start on Houses of the Holy by HowdyU


	10. ten:nukes bad viera good

Just some idle musings I've had about some characters recently.

P.S. I have never seen Sonic X, nor have I seen any Sonic stuff beside some of the video games. Just imagine the world tails lives in has very few humans.

Part 1:Tails

He mused on his life thus far and came to one rather abrupt conclusion.

He really should have thought things through better.

_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_--Tail's musings_!_the beginning--_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!

Tail's life before meeting Sonic was... not pleasant to say the least. Always the freak, the outcast, the punching bag. Just because of his extra tail.

Contrary to what most though tails did not hate his extra tail, quite the opposite. He loved Adam and Eve. Why name them that? Adam and Eve were supposed to be the first mortal being to exist. They have always existed, they were the first. Tails felt the same about his tails, they had always been with him, and they gave him the first feeling of joy he had ever felt.

When the local bullies decided enough was enough and started to actively try and cripple and/or kill him Adam and Eve had saved him. They had thrown him off a building. A four story apartment building actually. He had been around the second floor when he had started to hover in place. After a good five seconds of shock he put his inquisitive mind to work. It hadn't taken him long to figure out the basics of flight. After that it was all just a blur. He had started to fly, never looking back, he just kept on flying.

Eventually he had started to get tired. He tried his best to ignored it, but eventually tiredness lead to exhaustion, and exhaustion lead to passing out on a nice sandy beach.

It was there he met the blue streak. And by 'met' I mean he dove out of the way of a blue bi-plane crashed into the sand a couple of feet from where he was.

After helping the blue hedgehog out of the wreckage and putting out the small fire on one of his quills he introduced himself. His name was sonic and apparently he had been looking for a better way of getting around. Running was great and all but you can't run everywhere. There were geological limitations after all.

After making a hut out of the nearby foliage Sonic had actually taken the plane apart and tails got to work salvaging what he could. It had taken blood(he got a boo-boo when he was lifting a sharp piece of metal), sweat (it was rather hot out), and tears (from the previously mentioned boo-boo), and a LOT of duct-tape, but Tails had made the plane fly-able again.

How would tails know how to do this you ask? Well tails lived in the alleyways in Arcadia, a city known for having far to many libraries for its own good, and tails had a lot of time on his hands. So he read, he read everything, Child's Fiction, Advanced Machinery for Idiots, and How to Start a Harem in Three Easy Steps by Uzumaki Naruto were just a few of the things he happened to come across.

The next few years were just a happy blur for tails. He had found a friend, and eventually a brother, in Sonic. He didn't care that he was a genius at the age of six nor did he care about his tails. But the happy times ended. They had run into a man named Eggman, A human, something that was rare in their world.

There were only a handful of humans left after F day, the day when one of the governments, no one knows which, set off a bomb that killed 99 percent of the human population and mutated every other living thing on the planet. Creating the world they now knew.

Eggman had made several different robots. None more effective then the 'robot sonic' line. They had all fallen before the real Sonic's might but not without consequence. Sonic had developed a... paranoia about robots in general

So it was to be expected that when tails started making machines to fight Eggman's Sonic started to get nervous. The only thing stopping him from destroying Tails machines was the fact that none of Tail's were unmanned. Tails had to become an excellent pilot in order to work them. Sonic had never felt safer when going into battle then he did when tails was watching his back from within his latest mecha.

And it was good, for a time. But then Eggman made bigger machine and made a lot more the the two could handle.

Without telling Sonic Tails started working on a way to destroy the enemy robots.

After a year of fighting Eggman and his goons it was understandable that when sonic came home to find unfamiliar robot surrounding their home. It was also to be perfectly normal that he started to destroy them.

It was a shame he had so little self control, if he had waited just a few seconds and looked at them he would have seen the two-tailed logo he had become so familiar with.

After 'fighting' his was inside trying to find his twin-tailed brother he made one of the worst mistakes of his life.

Tails was trying on his new bio-mechanical suit, it was used to boost his reflexes and help him in aiming the new hand held guns he had made. He dubbed them 'railguns'.

Unfortunately, the suit made him look just a little too much like the robots Sonic had just got done slaughtering and he attacked the suit covered tails.

Sonic had used a homing attack on the new 'robot' and its gun fired, bouncing off a nearby mirror and severed one of its arms. It was about this time that he realized robot don't feel pain. So the thing screaming on the ground couldn't possibly be a robot .

Tails had forgiven Sonic at a later date, after building himself a new arm, but their relationship had never been the same. He had moved out and into the desert several dozen miles away. After building a self-sufficient home he had become more and more withdrawn from his friends. They tried to visit, but he was several miles deep in the hottest desert on the planet.

After 2 whole years with no attacks from Eggman and no contact from Tails his friends decided to surprise him by visiting him all at once. So on his next birthday they set off to the location they knew Tail's house was in.

They found a fortress, defended by robot foxes, several sniper nests, and AA emplacements.

Later they came to find out him and Eggman had started a personal war with one-another. Why was it personal? Well all they had to do was take one look at Tail's to find out. Eggman had attacked him when he was still building his house, he still had plans for it to be a house at that time, and almost killed him. He would have normally recovered, finished making his house, and moved on. But Eggman had done something unforgivable.

He had destroyed Eve. His left tail. Tails had made another one out of artificial flesh but it just wasn't the same. So on that day he had swore vengeance.

Eggman would die, no matter the cost.

Sonic and co. were shocked to hear that that day would be Eggman's last. Tails had managed to find out where he was. And he was fully prepared to... _deal_ with the fat man when the others got in his way. Trying to argue that Eggman was a living being and he had no right to end his life. He tried to ignore them but they, after some difficulty, had fought him to the ground before he could use his 'problem solver'.

They didn't get very far into what would have been the biggest friendship speech in history before Tails's personal guard broke down into the command room where they were located. He had told them in no uncertain terms that if they kept him from his revenge again he would see them as the enemy.

They gave in thinking maybe letting tails get his revenge would mellow him out a little. He looked rather high-strung and his eyes were that of a man on the brink of his sanity.

They later came to regret that decision. When they saw a giant missile with the words "burninate the peasants!" written on the side of it launch from their ex-friends base into parts unknown.

_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!--tail's musings over_!_present day-- _!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!

"so what if I went just a _wee _bit revenge crazy and nuked Eggmans base. Its not like it was nearby any major cities or anything...

oh wait... it was. Oopsies, my bad."

those were Tail's final thoughts before the Mobian government decided that if he was gonna nuke them then they were gonna nuke back.

Part 2: Vaan

as far back as Vaan could remember he had always liked things with odd skin colors. There were 'cool' when he was growing up. When he hit puberty though he met a Viera dancing in a rather skimpy outfit in one of the clubs he working as a courier for and it developed into a fetish. So if it was humanoid, had ovaries, and had a skin color that wasn't fleshy pink he was probably attracted to it, even a heavy tan would do it actually.

Now, this wasn't much of a problem until he met Fran and Baltheir when he was trying to steal gems from the castle. It was rather distracting fighting along-side what he pictured to be a goddess given human-ish form. the startling realization that her outfit left almost nothing to the imagination and that she had a rather... jiggly physic combined with the fact her boot/heels made her ass look even more enticing meant that it was a wonder he did anything but stand there and stare vacantly while drooling all over himself.

It was amazing he managed to control himself until they came upon the Viera forest. well... he did until they had to leave that is.

Any traveler passing through the forest were treated the the rather hysterical sight of five people dragging a hog-tied blond teenager out of a forest while they ignored his cries of "no! Take me back! I've found paradise!!!"

and there you have it some stray thoughts I had.

**ATTENTION READERS!** Do I have your attention? Good. Any way I have the next chapter Idea planned out. I have for a while actually but I need YOUR input. Its going to be an Evangelion Omake type thing about what the series would be like if Shinji was a normal teenager.

I say Omake style because it will probably be cut into shorter segments. I don't think I could write EVERY scene without it seeming either boring or forced.

So if any funny scenes, or even just ideas, pop into your head just tell me and I'll do my best to either write them out or scan them for grammar errors. (depending on if its a scene or just an idea respectively)

Here's a sample of one of them:

"Okay I understand the need for a weapon on a giant robot and I understand why you made a knife. It does fit in my shoulder armor thing rather easily after all. But the the fuck does the knife _vibrate_?! Couldn't you guys put a little more effort into finding out how to make a beam sword or a really, really powerful gun or something?! But no, I get stuck with a giant purple robot wielding a thinly veiled metaphor for a sex tool. _Wonderful_." Shinji ranted while standing not 500 feet from the angel. Just standing there.

"S-shut up and kill the damn thing!" Misato shouted. Trying to ignore the fact that he raised several good questions while ranting.

Stuff like that. I don't know when it'll come out but its not gonna be for _at least_ a week.

Currently reading:'Homecoming' a DeadSpace fic written by Leks Bronks

'Playing the Four Devils' a Naruto DMC crossover fic written by Reaper INI

currently listening to: Burn my Dread by.... I have no idea.


	11. eleven: load game? new game?

Sorry it took so long. I got several RPGs for Christmas that have kept me rather busy. Now before I start I would like to rant about two sections of this site I am severely disappointed in. please bear with me.

The Incredibles

a good movie right? Well I saw it again when I was at my grandmas house and decided. 'I wonder what the wonderful people at FF have written about this.'

What I found shocked and disgusted me.

I expected incest maybe even some OC/violet, but no. nay I say! I get synlet. **Fucking. Syndrome. And. Violet!**

I must demand what the **hell** the writers in this section were thinking... buddy (syndrome) is more likely to rape violet then he is to even say hi in a friendly way. Why? Mr. Incredible ruined his life. (from his point of view) Buddy has thus sworn vengeance against him (Vendetta! Vendetta!) any and all chances to hurt Mr. Incredible in any way would be taken without a thought.

I realize now how necessary OCs are. Like my third chapter. I ran out of characters. There only 4 in L4D that can talk and 9 that can be written about. (i'm counting the horde as 1) but they also have a rather heavy stigma that goes with them. Almost no one likes OCs, simply because they have the possibility of stealing the spotlight. So most authors do everything in their power to NOT use them.

but that doesn't mean warp buddy's characters that fucking much just to suit your needs! He's fine just the way he is. If a bit on the childish and arrogant side. But he's a villain. They're all kinda arrogant. Comes with the territory. The childish-ness just makes him more likable as a villain. Makes people more sympathetic towards his cause.

So can someone over there get their head out of their collective asses long enough to write a decent Dash/Violet or Dash/Helen fic?

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

after watching the series itself and calming myself down I started reviewing it in my head, seriously I wanted to go fight something, fuck something, and then eat until I exploded. I'm honestly surprised I didn't start dressing in bandages and shout about 'don't believe in me, believe in the me that believes in you!'.

The only thing I can say was **bad** about the series was the pairing.

Yoko was hot. This is a proven fact. Kamina was awesome. This is also a proven fact. They went perfectly together. And then Kamina died. (*sob* I still haven't gotten over it!) so who does she eventually end up with? The F-ing blonde guy! I didn't even bother remembering his name. He was a wanna-be Kamina and everyone knew it.

Simon had a crush on her when he was a kid, yes It would have been a little... disrespectful, to get her on the rebound but give it a little time and he could have had her! I've seen at least 5 doujins that featured Simon and Yoko together. How many fics have I found?

Fucking. None. …...wait, nvm, there are a few. Nine actually none over ten thousand words and 'starry sky' is the only one with any adult content. Even then its just an insinuated lemon.

Anyway can someone get off their lazy ass and write a decent sized (15k words at least unless its a one-shot) M rated Yoko/Simon fic? Why not me? Well I don't write romance. I can barely think about what the characters that aren't the main character are even going to say much less have a believable relationship!

* * *

Ok my ranting aside I would like to thank Samjay and his latest chapter for inspiring me. It was chapter 78 If I remember right. He may have updated since then though. he tends to do that a lot.

* * *

Load Game?

~)New Game?

Shinji was a simple boy really. All you had to know about him was that he was abandoned by his father and sent to live with his distant Uncle, Uncle Bill on his mother's side in Ohio, America.

Now, if we wanted to do a more in-depth investigation into his life we would find out that his Uncle was a Video Game fanatic, and that he passed on his love to an, at the time, emotionally scarred, four year old. This accomplished three things. One, guaranteed he would be addicted to Video Games for the rest of his life. Two, warped his perception of everything, he thought about every problem as if life was a Video Game puzzle, not in an un-healthy way but it did come with its own set of problems. Three, growing up playing as heroes like Master chief, Link, Sonic, Dante, and Mario gave him a spine, he was pretty much what most would call a normal teenager, if a bit obsessed.

So when his father sent him a letter with nothing but the word "Come." He first felt faintly uncomfortable then he decided 'what the hell, this may be my time to be a hero?'

He would have broken down and yelled curses to the heavens if he knew what was in store for him.

-__-__-__-__-__-__-_one plane ride and a subway trip later_-__-__-__-__-__-

"All lines are out of commission at this time of crisis. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Now stop F(beep)ING calling here!" The Phone lady shouted as Shinji held the it away from his head wincing.

"Alright, alright, damn, no need to be such a bitch about it I only tried calling 8 times." He muttered hanging up. Skillfully ignoring the loud screeching from the other end as he did so.

Just then he noticed a jet flying over-head. Raising an eyebrow he idly commented. "Flying awfully low isn't it?" his rhetorical question became a normal question when he got an answer in the form of the missile impacting a black skinned behemoth with white bones sticking out if it's skin and some sort of red sphere on it's chest.

Shinji couldn't help but notice the missile did jack-shit against it. "Maybe they need to press the upgrade button? Always works in defense games. That or aim for the ball on its chest, it's obviously it's weak point." He muttered before taking the picture of the woman that was supposed to be picking him up out of his pockets. She looked rather hot. Sort of a like Samus Aran with purple hair actually.

While Shinji was off in dream-land imagining a fight between Master Chief and Samus he didn't notice Said purple haired woman pulling up right next to him.

"hey kid, you Shinji Ikari?" The truth was Misato had forgotten the picture that she was given of the boy she was sent to pick up. She decided to ask this boy because he was either new around here or he was too stupid to hear all the alarms and warning to 'get to the shelters' that happened to be going off because he was the only one still outside.

"Why yes, yes I am. Who's may I ask is wanting to know?" Shinji inquired. It's rude not to be polite after all.

"Misato Katsuragi. Your father sent me to come get you. Get in."

"Ahh. The prick. Alrighty then, lets go." Shinji could care less that his father abandoned him, although it was kind of a dick move, he **did **however, hate him because he burned all of his mom's things and the little bit he didn't burn, he took. All he had to remember her by was an old tape player and a cello that he had tried (and failed) learning. He could sing though so he considered that particular hurdle in his life a win.

"I've wanted to do this since like, ever." Shinji whispered before he took a running start and slid across the hood of the car. Unfortunately for our G-nerd (1) hero part of his pants caught on the roof of the car and his feet never met the ground. Instead he took a massive face plant right on the street next to the car. Jumping up less then half a second after his face hit the ground he exclaimed "I'm alright! I totally meant to do that!"

"Riiiight. Sure Shinji." Misato said sarcastically as he got in. Driving off she almost flipped the car due to a misfired missile. "Learn how to aim morons!" She shouted up at the helicopter-like planes flying over-head.

She would have probably yelled more if not for suddenly having to slam on the breaks as the ground opened up revealing a purple robot with a single horn on it's forehead. Swerving passed it she noticed Shinji was staring at unit 01 in what appeared to be awe. Mistaking it for shock that there were two giant monsters now she decided to reassure him. "Don't worry that's one of ours." She subtly pressed the gas peddle a little harder. She was about two and a half miles from the secret tunnel into NERV and she wanted to make it there fast just in-case Rei failed.

She was slightly startled when the boy next to her started singing while watching Rei in 01 and Sachiel fight. "this is the ultimate showdown, good guys bad guys and explosions, as far as the eye can see! Only one will survive, I wonder who it will b- what the hell?! The plane thing are retreating! Cowards fight till the last man, never surrender!"

'Well, it is nice to know he's probably going to say yes when he's asked to pilot but does he really have to lean out the window when he's yelling that?... wait retreating?! I gotta get to the tunnel before they drop it!' she hit that gas hard enough to almost break through the floor, going well over what her speedometer could track. she just barely made it into the the tunnel before the shock-wave from the mine hit.

Glancing over at Shinji she found he was upside down somehow. "You alright?" She asked. "Oh ya, just peachy. I'll remember to wear a seat-belt next time. So what is this place?" He asked after righting himself and noticing they were on a lift-like device that was carrying them down into what appeared to be a giant forest under the ground.

"After second impact the government decided hey wanted a safe area from almost every natural disaster imaginable and the being that you saw earlier, we call them angels. Naturally that is impossible but they came damn close with these. This is japan's geo-front." She stopped her speech halfway through (she had to memorize the damn thing, may as well use the long version.) when she heard the boy next to her scoff.

"Something amusing kid?" She was a little miffed at being interrupted.

"This? This is the best defense the government could make against that giant monster? Good god woman, I mean come on. There are no defense turrets, no maze devised to slow down these 'angels' and worst of all, that pyramid thing, your base I'm assuming, is DIRECTLY under the city above, if one or more of the buildings fell then what?" He explained, diverting all available brain power to figuring out what kind of moron builds a paradise like this without any defensive capabilities to defend it.

"We didn't know if conventional weapons would hurt the angels so we didn't want to waste the money on something that won't work. There is actually a 'maze', there's 22 lairs of reinforced titanium between the roof you see and the surface. Although... you do raise a good point with the buildings. Bit of a design flaw there. Oh well, here we are."

"conventional?" Shinji couldn't help but ask.

"Ritsuko will tell you more once were inside HQ.

* * *

Ok sry to end it here but I'm tired as hell and you guys have waited long enough. I've had an idea for a persona 4 ficlet since I got the true ending way-back-when (I got it the day it came out) that I'm going to write as soon as I can think clearly, after which I will write the second half of this. Remember people I'm still open to ideas. I've got quite the battle set up for Sachiel. I can promise you've seen nothing like it done before. Whether that's a good thing or not will be seen later :P

Reading: to braindead to read anything at the moment.

Listening to: I've just got my play-list on repeat. To tired to hit stop or pause.

On a final note. I got a story alert! I felt rather high on life when I got it so thank you for that.

G'night peoples. ZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz


	12. twelve: leaving?

Sry about taking so long. About an hour ago my computer decided it was gonna be as slow as possible. No worries though. One quick CCleaner later and were all good.

Alrighty then, this is what I imagine to be my ideal end to P4. Because honestly, why the hell did he leave at the end of the year? His parents travel a lot, and the only conceivable reason it gave for him going back to the city was so he could be with his friends again. Which is just a wee bit ass-backwards considering his new friends (and love interest) are in Inaba.

Oh, and before I forget, i'm going back to '_-_-_' for my barriers cuz FF kept cutting out the ones I made last chapter, which I will be re-editing after I write this.

One last thing (sry) I would just like to tell you all I don't believe in deleting anything I write. I see Fanfiction like a conversation. Once something is said its said. You can't take it away. I may modify and correct errors but I will never delete anything I write (story-wise that is). So if this fic ever suddenly disappears rest assured I had no part in it and will re-upload it as soon as possible.

* * *

"Where the hell is he?!" Never let it be said that Chie is a very patient person...

We join our hero's as they are waiting to see their leader off as he is leaving to go back to the city. The group was rather frustrated though. Souji had yet to actually appear. And his train was leaving in a couple of minutes.

"Maybe we should call Nanako-chan?" Naoto, always the voice of reason, suggested.

"Good idea, gimme a sec'." Yosuke muttered, taking out his phone and speed dialing Souji's cell.

Ring, Ring, Ri-"Hello,Nanako here, who may I ask is calling?" said the 8 year old on the other end.

'she would make an excellent secretary someday' Yosuke thought offhandedly. "Uhh ya hi, Nanako, this is Yosuke, is you bro home?"

"yeah!, he's asleep though."

"...Well do you think you could wake him up? He's rather late for his train."

"Train? Big bro's leaving? Anyway, if you wanna wake him up you can but last time I tried jack frost came alive and tried to kill me, in fact, rather strange things happen whenever I try and wake him up."

".... ooooook we'll be right there." Yosuke deadpanned, hanging up the phone. "Alright, gang looks like we've gotta wake him up, I think Nanako may still be a little light-headed still." Yosuke was referring to Nanako's illness and near-death experience just a couple of weeks ago.

"Well what'a we waitin' for? Lets go!" Kanji declared, already running toward Souji's house. Yosuke made it sound like Nanako needed help so there was no time to waste.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__fifteen minutes later__-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Nanako-chan are you okay!?" Kanji all but shouted as he burst through the door of the Dojima residence.

"~Everydays great at yo- EEEEK. Oh Kanji, its just you. I'm still a little jumpy after that evil bad man kidnapped me."

'Ow. Way to lay on the guilt trip Nanako. Oh well, at least she's not calling me street punk-chan any more.' Kanji thought before saying. "Sorry about that, Yosuke made it sound like you needed help with something."

"I *huff* did not! Your just far to over-protective. Honestly, Souji's scary enough when he goes into 'big brother' mode." retorted Yosuke, out of breath, as the rest of the group caught up.

"Nanako-chan can never have to many protectors!" Teddie declared in true Teddie fashion.

"guys, shouldn't we go wake leader up?" Yukiko cut in.

"Indeed, I am curious as to how Souji-kun could have overslept, he's always been rather punctual." Naoto had never known the silver-ette to be late for anything without a good reason after all.

And so the group, sans Nanako, who was still watching TV downstairs, headed upstairs toward their leader's room. They would have knocked but the door was open a crack already so they just walked in.

inside they found Souji, asleep, legs sticking out of the covers and a bit of drool coming from his mouth onto the pillow. Of coarse this rather comical sight paled in comparison the what they saw in his arms.

"He... *snort* sleeps with a jack frost doll." Yosuke choked out, actually having to put his fist in his mouth to stop from laughing out loud.

'Leader sleeps with stuffed animals to?' Kanji thought.

Your understanding has increased +2

Yukiko was to busy laughing like a hyena to have any rational thoughts at that point.

"Huh, who knew? Anyway lets wake him up" Chie decided, walking closer, while avoiding the various books, Video Games, and dirty clothes spread around the room.

*snore* "Oh no.... shadows.... jack frost.... use.... tackle!" Souji muttered in his sleep.

What followed was the rather hilarious scene of Souji throwing the little blue plushie right at Chie's face. Hitting it with a "pff" sound unique to a plush toy impacting someones unsuspecting face.

Yukiko only laughed harder.

"Wake up you lazy bum!" Chie shouted, none to pleased about jack's wonderfully executed tackle attack.

"The capitol of Candyland! Shouted the slayer of gods as he woke up.

"If this keeps up I don't think Yukikos going to live much longer." Naoto commented noticing said Amagi woman was turning slightly blue in the face.

"Hey partner why are you still asleep, shouldn't you be all packed and waiting for your train?" Yosuke asked the still half asleep youth.

"Hmmm? What gave you that idea? I know I can be a little demanding with all the training in the TV world (at this point every one but Souji quietly mutter 'that's an understatement under their breath) but running me outta town's a little harsh don't ya think?" Souji said, rubbing the last of the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Wha? No, no. We just remember you saying you were only staying here for a year. We just assumed you were leaving now." Chie pointed out. Confused, but relieved that he didn't seem to be leaving.

"Oh that, ya that was back at the start of the year when I thought this entire year was gonna be boring as all hell, boy was I proven wrong. Then I met all you guys and grew to like it out here. Its much better out here then in the city. Less assholes that for sure..." Souji said the last bit to himself but everyone heard him. "So I asked my parents if I could live here. They offered to send me some money for a place but I declined, I've saved up quite a bit after going to the TV world as much as we did, plus all the part time jobs I worked at. I've got almost twenty thousand dollars saved up. I actually bought the place next door. I'm movin' all my stuff over later today."

"So your not moving back to wherever you lived before living here?" Naoto clarified, just to make sure.

"Nope. My parents travel a lot so they're almost never home. Living in a mansion by yourself gets a little lonely after a couple of years." Souji responded sounding slightly bitter.

"A mansion?!" most of the group yelled.

"Errrr ya, you guys didn't know? My mom and dad are pretty high up on the corporate ladder in the Kirijo group. We're rather wealthy. We almost lost everything almost a year ago when the Kirijo groups president died though, and it's still a little shaky considering the current president, the old ones daughter, is still taking care of one of her close friends who's woken up from a several month long coma just a few days ago. Turns out he's a cousin of mine. Small world huh?" Souji explained.

"So your making a stable life from yourself separate from your parents in case the Kirijo Group goes bankrupt?" Naoto said quickly finding out her new love's real motives.

Souji blinked. "Yes, actually. You know me far to well. Anyway, Teddie, my new house has a second bedroom so I would be honored if you'd like to live with me if you decide to stay in our world."

The wannabe-bishounen started tearing up. Running forward and giving Souji a bear hug he started crying dramatically. "That makes Teddie 'bear'y happy! I would love to! *sob*

"Teddie! A-*gack* AIR!" Souji struggled fruitlessly against the superior might of the overly emotion bear.

Nanako peaked her head in the Doorway to check what was going on and smiled wickedly.

'looks like everything is going according to plan. Soon brother, you will me mine mwhahahahahahaha!!'

luckily the 'Seta crew' were saved from listening to Nanako's 'evil laugh of doom!(R)' and continued on celebrating.

* * *

aaaaand that's how I imagined the game ending. Even the Nanako part actually. Seriously, she's far too sweet, there's gotta be a wicked streak there somewhere. In this case it just happens to be the fact that she wants to seduce her new hero.

Alright I gotta go do the dishes but after that I'll go edit the last chapter. FF cut out quite a bit of the little touches I put here and there

* * *

currently listening to: Viva La Vida by coldplay. God I love this song.

Currently reading: Hokage by Adrien Skywalker.


	13. thirteen: LG NG part 2

Ok so it took me a little while to do all the research for this. Even longer to write out. Why? Well my labtops old as friggin dirt. Now normally I wouldn't care about this, but two things on it are breaking down.

The part that holds the moniter up. I have to have the screen at a perfect 90 degree angle or else it falls backwards or snaps shut on my hands. (owie)

and the left click mouse button is getting rather hard to press. Seriously it feel like I'm punching my laptop considering how hard I have to press it.

Anyway technical difficulties aside. Lets enjoy some nice angel slaughtering neh?

* * *

~)load game?

New game

"conventional?" Shinji couldn't help but ask.

"Ritsuko will tell you more once were inside HQ."

'Chief you lucky bastard... at least your purple haired traveling companion knows her left from her right. Seriously i'm pretty sure we've passed this rust stain fourteen times now!' Shinji thought heatedly.

"Ok i'm leading from now on." Shinji finally spoke up.

"Oh? And how would you do that if you've never been here before?" Misato asked, struggling to remember where the hell she was supposed to go.

"Easy, we passed an elevator a couple of minutes ago and EVERYONE knows that in secret military bases like this the only blindingly obvious entry point is the elevators, if they work that is." He said as an afterthought, as he started walking towards the elevator. Honestly it was like talking to a noobie or something. Didn't she work here?

'I feel sorry for whoever she lives with...'

The amount of irony in that statement threatened to implode the universe.

Just as they reached the elevator the doors opened and a blonde woman in a blue swimsuit and a lab coat stepped out. She had a rather non-plussed expression on her face.

"You got lost again, didn't you Misato..." the newcomer deadpanned.

"eh he he... ye- I mean no! I was uhhh, giving Shinji here a tour of our wonderful facility!" Misato almost shouted, grabbing Shinji and whisper 'play along!' into his ear.

'Nice save there genius.' Shinji thought but played along on the outside. "Yeah, she was showing me all the wonderful places around here. Like, that wall over there, the rust stain down the hall, and her panties when we were on that escalator thing. Of coarse she took me to each location multiple times, after all repetition makes it easier to memorize."

ahhh sarcasm, the weapon of teens everywhere.

Ignoring the fact that her longtime friend's hug had turned into more of a choke hold and her smile had become rather forced she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ritsuko Akagi, you must be Shinji, the third child.

Shaking her hand he replied. "Yeah, that'd be me. Although I was pretty sure I was an only child. Another reason to hate Gendo then i guess, he cheated on mom."

Hitting the button Ritsuko had to pause at that, to tell him or remain silent? The possibility that Gendo was sleeping with her mom before Yui's death was possible. Making her decision she spoke up. "...I actually meant the global testing the governments did a while ago. You were the third person we found. And because only people born after second impact are capable of piloting our new weapon most started referring to the candidates as 'children', thus third child."

"Do you mean the blood test I had to take a couple years back? *shudder* I think the nurse was checking me out"

"Isn't that a good thing Shinji?" Misato pointed out.

"The nurse was a guy."

"Oh. Yeah that makes more sense."

Turning to the blonde He asked, his obsession once again showing. "By weapon did you mean the mecha fighting the tutorial boss outside?

"Um, yeah that's the weapon I was referring to. What do you mean tu-" before she could finish asking about his unique wording the elevator opened. Shinji had already started walking inside so she followed along with Misato

"It's a little dark can someone turn on a-" He started saying before the lights turned on, that's not what stopped his request though. The thing that stopped his request was the giant purple face of the mecha he had seen fighting Mr. mid-boss earlier.

"Gah! Well... that was shocking." He muttered. The mech's face looks rather intimidating already, the fact that he didn't expect it to be here combined with the fact the room was dark a second ago created a fairly good 'jump out of your shoes' moment.

This is the multi-purpose humanoid fighting machine evangelion, which humanity developed to fight the angels." Although She sounded like she was reading off a cue card he could still hear the considerable amount of pride in her voice.

"....you mean I get to pilot this?" If Misato didn't know any better she'd think the kid just had a happy-gasm.

"Correct, third child." Said a voice from above.

Unfortunately Shinji was far to busy in happy-land to care about anything but his new toy-I mean EVA. Gendo, not knowing Shinji's personality, assumed he was too frightened to answer.

"Fuyutsuki, send in Rei."

"Sir, she can barely move."

"She's alive isn't she?"

"...right away sir."

About thirty seconds later, in which Shinji managed to snap himself out of happy-land only to realize no, he wasn't dreaming and yes, he was about to become the most epic teen alive, a hospital bed was wheeled in by four doctors through the steel double-doors, a blue haired pale girl laying on it.

As Shinji saw the doctors helping the girl stand and walk to, what he assumed to be, the cockpit he automatically assumed that the robot needed two pilots.

"The angel is attacking!" He heard someone nearby yell.

The entire compound shook from what he guessed was an explosion and an entire support beam fell towards his soon-to-be co-pilot. After sprinting towards her for less then a second he realized he wasn't going to be able to make it to her AND get her, and himself, out of harms way in time, so he did the only thing he could think of.

"I don't know if your some kind of bio-mech or something but if you can hear me bring you hand up and deflect the beam!" it was a long shot but miraculously it worked when unit 01's hand reached up and deflected the metal beam, incidentally the hunk of metal hit the observational window Gendo was standing behind, nearly causing him to wet himself.

Patting himself on the back for his quick thinking Shinji realized the very much injured girl had just taken a rather nasty fall. "oh right" he muttered as he ran over to her.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked, propping her up into a sitting position.

"Yes.... Thank yo-" She was cut off however when she passed out from the pain.

"I'll kick it's ass extra hard for you." he whispered. Turning to the robot that had saved her life he said. "Thanks 01... we're gonna need to think up a name for you... Ohdeen, your name is Ohdeen."

Misato, overhearing Shinji's thinking out loud moment, decided to comment. "why Ohdeen?"

"Hmm? Oh did I say that out loud? Anyway, I was trying to think up a good name that had something to do with the number one. Then I remembered seeing this video that had this girl counting to ten in Russian, One in Russian sounds a lot like Odin, the god of lightning, wisdom, battle, victory, and many other things. That in and of itself would be appropriate to name something like this but whenever I look at 01 my mind instantly says female. Thus, Ohdeen" Shinji finished explaining, just as Ritsuko recovered enough to speak.

"Here Shinji, put these on and the tell me what type of entry plug you would prefer." she handed him the A10 clips.

"Well, OW, stupid thing pulled my hair! Anyway, what kinds do you have?" He asked after having some _minor_ trouble with the clips.

Barely holding back her chuckle of amusement she took a lecturing tone. "we've created another kind besides the one we had when we first created the EVAs a couple years ago. The standard entry plug is a seat with the controls in front of you to help with certain motions. This model is almost completely thought controlled. This is also the model Rei other kind, the newer model, is more of a bubble you stand in and control the EVA with your own body motions. The second child, Asuka, who is training in Germany preferes this model."

'so it looks like a G-gundam cockpit versus a more toned down Gundam SEED cockpit eh?' Shinji deduced. "I'll take the second one. What do these do by the way" He asked, gesturing toward the A10 clips.

"They help you pilot by connecting your nervous system to 01's"

"Woah, woah hold up! I'm not a super scientist but I'm pretty sure the nervous system controls what I feel, so hooking mine up to Ohdeen's would make me feel whatever damage she feels! I'm gonna get paid for this right?"

"The assurance that you are protecting the human race should be the only incentive you need to pilot." Gendo spoke up for the first time since the near pants wetting moment.

"Ha! Piss off. Humanity can suck it. Better idea, I get the same amount this lovely lady here gets per month every week, (here he gestures towards Ritsuko) and considering there's probably gonna be more of these 'angels' I want fifty thousand as a bonus for every kill I get. And I mean whatever the hell fifty thousand U.S. Dollars is in yen, I haven't been back yet long enough to know the exchange rate."

"You will pilot on my terms or I will find someone else. No one is irreplaceable." Gendo responded. 'This isn't right, he was supposed to be a wimp who would do anything for even a speck of my affection. This is not in my scenario.'

"Considering you were going to use miss needs-tan-here as my co-pilot I don't think you _have_ anybody else, besides this, Asuka girl, and Germany's awfully far away. Even if you have someone in this city that could pilot Ohdeen I doubt you could transport them here in time."

As if to prove his point another explosion rocked NERV as another support beam fell from the ceiling. Luckily this one landing harmlessly in the water.

'copilot?' Gendo looked over at Fuyutsuki, who had arrived around the same time as Rei, for advice only to see him shake his head and shrug, equally confused. Deciding to ignore it he continued. "Very well third child, I accept your terms." Gendo accepted begrudgingly.

Ritsuko, realizing the argument was over, hurriedly started giving orders. "Prepare unit 01 for combat! Pilot Ikari wishes to use the entry plug mark II."

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-5 minutes later_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After some of the techs had escorted Shinji to the entry plug He was finally in the entry plug. He passed the time by listening to the voices through the radio. He assumed it was in the floor because that was the only thing inside the entry plug. It was just an empty diagonal tube, he was actually a little concerned about how exactly he could fight in it.

"Shinji, would you rather us switch the operating language to English? You can only think in one language for this to work and i'm assuming your more fluent in English." Ritsuko asked

"Yes that would be great. Thank you" He replied.

He could here a female voice somewhere say. " thought process switched from Japanese to English."

He could also here them running what he guessed was the startup sequence for Ohdeen.

"The connection of the A10 clips is operational."

"Sync ratio holding steady and 53.15 percent ma'am."

"All harmonics are normal. Prepare for start-up!"

Suddenly Shinji was seeing all sorts of colors and patterns in the plug. After it all stopped he was rather shocked to find that the entry plug now looked more like a dome he was standing on the floor with at least 2 arms lengths between him and the wall with around 4 feet between him and the ceiling.

Unfortunately for him while he was inspecting the inside of the plug it was filling up rather quickly with some sort of off-orange liquid, it was already up to his lower stomach. "what the fu-mm" he was cut of in his exclamation however when the liquid covered his mouth.

"Relax Shinji, that's LCL a breathable liquid we use to help with synchronization." Ritsuko explained

"Ma'am synch ratio has jumped a whole ten points with the introduction the the LCL." the same female voice from earlier said.

"Excellent, thank you Maya." Ritsuko responded. 'Impressive Shinji, and without the help of a plugsuit as well.'

After getting over the shock of almost drowning Shinji released the air he was holding in and breathed in the LCL. After some slight discomfort he quickly got used to it. He tried moving around only to realize he could move around fine. As if he wasn't in a capsule filled with blood tasting liquid.

"Prepare to launch uni-I mean Ohdeen in 5... 4.." Misato started before Shinji cut her off.

"Hold up! Is there any way to change what i'm seeing? Like some kind of HUD? It would help immensely."

"The EVA's movement is entirely controlled by you, as I said before, but what you see can be changed by you. All you must do is imagine it being there and anything on your monitor will be there." Ritsuko explained to him.

"Alright, thanks." 'ok i'm gonna need a mini-map but what kind? One like from Halo:3 would be pointless, i'm pretty sure i'm gonna know where he's at. One from Halo:ODST would be to detailed. It would take far too long to understand. Hmmm.'

After much thought he dicided he didn't need a minimap and moved on to the next detail of his new HUD. 'I may not have time to turn around in battle so i'm gonna need some kind of rear-view.' as he said this a small square opened up at the top of the dome, not the very top, but high enough it would be out of the way.

'Alright That'll help a little, so now I just need some kind of ammo and health bar. Seeing as how I don't have a weapon besides my fists at the moment an ammo indicator seems a little pointless and a normal health bar seems a little redundant considering this is real life, and I can feel what happens so i'm pretty sure I can tell when i'm gonna die. Actually now that I think about it i've got something.'

After a second a detailed picture of the evangelion appeared right below him, covering the entire floor of the dome. The only difference between the one he was in and the display was that the one on the floor was green.

"Alright guys, i'm ready for launch."

"OK, Preparing to launch Ohdeen in 5...4...3...2...1... LAUNCH"

Shinji wasn't that shocked to find himself on his knees at the pressure as he sped up through a tunnel that opened up on the ceiling. He just took his mind off the pressure by focusing on the metal and lights passing by at high speed.

Finally he came to a stop. He was never really very good at guessing distances but he guessed the angel was about one thousand feet in front of him facing the other way.

"Okay Shinji he hasn't seen you yet. Now is a great time to test out your movement and get used to it. Since your in the mark II it should be easier for a beginner. Just take it slow, try walking." Misato's voice chimed in through the radio.

"Will do Cortana... I mean Misato, sorry, got caught up in the moment." Shinji sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, laughing. He turned serious a second later though

'alrighty Ohdeen lets see if we can't melt some faces neh?' Shinji thought to what he hoped was Ohdeen. Ever since he got in the mech he could feel someone else here. It felt kinda like being watched but more pleasant instead of creepy.

Ignoring Misato's however Shinji ran toward Sachiel. A small part of his brain feared he would run right into the wall of the plug. That fear, however, was proven wrong when the floor moved with him, keeping him in place.

And so our hero rushed forward in a full sprint toward the angel, cocking his fist back and yelling his battle cry of 'The cake is a lie!' he smashed his fist up against it's back, right where its spine was at crippling it.

…

or rather, he would have, if he hadn't run face first into some sort of glowing Hexagon shaped force-field.

".... wha da fuf." Shinji muttered still plastered up against the force field.

"Maya, why isn't the AT field working?!" He could here Ritsuko shout.

"I don't kn-...OH oops, its not online. Hehehe silly me. *click* alright it's on now." Maya said back, sounding embarrassed.

*sigh* "It's alright Maya, it is our first real combat experience, just don't let it happen again."

"I-i won't ma'am, you can count on me!"

"Alright, Shinji the enemy is using what we call an AT field, we barely know what it is and how it works but your EVA is equipped with it, the AT field can do just about everything, createing force fields is one of the simplest things you can do, now that your field is online you can find a way to break the angels, simply use it like you did the HUD you made. Just think it and it will happen." Ritsuko explained quickly as Shinji made some distance between himself and Sachiel.

"Just think it and it will happen huh?" Shinji echoed, a wide grin slowly forming on his face.

Back at nerve Maya had to ask. "Should we be worried?

"Maybe Maya, maybe." Misato responded

Up above Shinji was getting used to the AT field, he charged his fist with it and marveled at how his hand was covered in the same kind of pattern he just ran into albeit his was white. "Oh this is gonna be fun." He whispered.

Running forward once more he shifted the energy covering his hand into his fist, in the rough shape of an orb. Reaching Sachiel he shouted. "Ya ever played street fighter bitch!?" He thrust his right hand forward with a cry of "HA-DOU-KEN".

Unfortunately the spectacularly executed attack did little against his opponents AT field. Just making a decent sized dent, which repaired itself a second later. Dodging the lance made out of light that came out of Sachiel's hand he jumped back again.

"Do I have any weapon on this thing?" He could feel a weight on his shoulders and he didn't know what it was, so he figured he would ask. Who knows maybe it was a gun?

"Yes. There is a progressive knife in the left pauldron(1). Just think about the front opening and it will deploy." Ritsuko answered.

"Gotcha." Shinji absently commented as he concentrated on the shoulder armor opening up. It did a second later, luckily Sachiel was acting just like a tutorial boss should and was standing still when Shinji wasn't wailing on him. Reaching up and grabbing the handle of the knife he brought it out in front him him so he could see it. To his slight surprise in the entry plug as soon and he picked it it a white replica of the knife Ohdeen was holding, it looked rather like his pocket knife back home actually, so he flicked his wrist and it opened. As soon as it did however it started to hum.

"... is this thing vibrating...."

"Yes, its to boost the cutting power of the knife." Ritsuko answered, either not noticing his deadpanned attitude or simply ignoring it.

"No, no i'm not using this."

"Excuse me?! I designed that weapon, I can guarantee it will slice right through anything you cut with it!"

"No self-respecting gamer will ever use this, this wanna-be sec toy! Good god woman i'm already having flashbacks of when I found the 'secret' weapon inside of the police station in GTA:Vice city! (2) And then Uncle Bill explained the birds and the bees! *shudder* He used _charts_. I didn't think I would ever recover." He finished his rant by throwing the progressive knife as far away as he could. Considering the added strength of the EVA boosting his own it was safe to assume we'll never be seeing that knife again in this series.

"Synch ratio dropping ma'am it's down to 42.87 percent!"

"Shinji! You just threw away your only weapon!" Misato tried scolded him.

"Oh contrare my dear madam I have a better idea for a weapon." As he said this he reached up and broke the horn on Ohdeen's forehead off. If he was paying more attention he would have noticed the picture of Ohdeen on the floor's horn turned red instead of green signifying it's severing. Holding it in with both hands in front of him he concentrated.

"Spiriiiiiiit SWORD!" He yelled as a glowing white sword blossomed out of the tip of the horn, one also appearing in Shinji's hand.

"Synch ratio back up to previous level of 63.15!"

Charging forward once more he started slashing at Sachiel. But it was to no avail. It was creating cuts in the field but they repaired by the time he slashed again. This time as Sachiel launched a beam of light Shinji was unable to avoid it and too a beam to the chest launching him back a couple hundred feet.

Groaning and getting up to his feet, Shinji thought of an attack that would break through. Gatsuuga Tenshou may work but it might not be powerful enough, he wasn't a vizard so he doubted he could boost the power by going hollow so he quickly thought of another one.

"Got one." He whispered as he jumped into the air, bringing his sword down screaming "DIMENSIONAL SLASH!" all the energy he put into the sword and then some went flying towards Sachiel, it easily sliced through the AT field and severed his right arm. The attack continues for several more blocks before it dies out.

"Nice work Shinji! But your swords gone. And your cable has been severed. You only have five minutes of power left. Less if you use the AT field." Misato commented/warned him.

"It's fine, now that the shields out of the way I can hit it with something i've been saving since I started this battle." He admitted.

Raising his hand up In the air he surrounded his hand with what he could feel was 4/5th of the power he had left. Causing it to glow ominously, in fact, the armor on the hand was starting to melt from the amount of energy coursing through it.

He ran forward yelling. "This hand of mine glows with an awesome power! It's burning grip tells me to defeat you! SHINING FIN-gah!"

Before he could finish his attack however Sachiel grabbed Ohdeen's helmet by the face. The attack slammed into Sachiel's left shoulder severing the half-regenerated arm.

"You cheating son of a bi-***SLAM* **AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY FUCKING EYE!

***SLAM***

At this point Shinji was feeling rather light-headed, and he couldn't see out of his right eye, so he recalled the words of his Uncle. "Always look on the bright side." So he tried. 'Heh, at least i'll get to wear an eye-patch now. Those things look pretty badass.'

***SLAM***

He thought he heard someone say something like "Armor breached neural connections failing! We're losing the pilot!" but he honest;y wasn't sure anymore everything was growing dim.

'So this is how the soon-to-be great Third Child dies huh? In his first battle? This was my chance to be a hero, like all my idols. Is this really the end?" He asked again.

***SLAM***

just as everything went dark he heard a little girls voice.

"You bet your ass it isn't."

and then he could feel no more.

* * *

Shinji woke up. Finding himself laying down in the middle of a field he stood up and looked around. He was on a grassy hill, the grass came up about mid-shin on him, he noticed there was a tree in the middle of the field looked rather familiar.

"Hello... son." a voice behind him said.

Turning around his throat seized up. Standing not 5 feet from him, was his mom.

"M-mom is- is that you." He stuttered out, in a state of shock.

"Yes Shinji it's me." She said, smiling.

"I really am dead then, crap." He was rather sad about the whole dieing thing, but he got to see his mom again so it evened out in the end he supposed.

"No sweetie you're very much alive right now, a little banged up and you may have a scar on your right eyelid, but alive."

"Really? But.... where are we then? And what do you mean me? What about you?

"Let me start at the beginning. Eleven years ago I was actually the first test pilot for unit 01, your father would have done it but he knew there was a risk involved. I think he was sleeping with that Naoko girl behind my back so he ordered me to do it."

"Couldn't you just say no?" Shinji cut in.

"No. He was my Superior. So there was nothing I could do. Besides I did design and build 01 so I wanted to pilot it anyway. So there I was. Sitting in the entry plug when they started the start-up sequence. It was all going great until I started synching with 01. Apparently when we created it we accidentally gave it a soul. And she was lonely. So lonely in fact she would do anything for companionship. So she ripped my soul out of my body while I was synchronizing with her. You were there actually. You may remember it actually."

"Yes. Yes I do. I would have probably already blocked that out if not for the nightmares about that very day. So we're inside Ohdeen?" Shinji responded shaking slightly. He never go any sleep when he had those dreams.

"Yes, but i'm not the one who called you here, don't get me wrong I wanted to see you again, more then anything, but I alone don't have the power for something like that, it was a joint effort between me and the spirit of 01. she wants to meet you, she told me to tell you to meet her by the swing. Bye sweetie, i'll contact you next time you pilot, or synch with 01 for any reason. Probably a synch test. We used to have to run those just about every other day for unit 00." as she finished talking she reached forward and grabbed Shinji in a motherly hug.

Returning the hug Shinji could only say. "I'll see you again soon mom. That's a promise." After several more seconds of simply enjoying being with his mother again Shinji took off for the swing. It wasn't that long of a walk. He was only about 30 feet away when he woke up.

After making it to the swing he didn't see anyone around, so he decided to pass the time by swinging. As soon as he was on the seat however a voice behind him startled him.

"Greetings, mortal."

Shinji spun around and let out a very unmanly scream. It was rather justified considering Alma Wade was standing right behind him.

Of coarse a split second he realized that this was the good Alma. The one who had, despite being tortured, impregnated through rape, and had her children ripped from her the second they were born, still helped the FEAR point-man, her son, when he needed her. He had quite a bit of respect for her because of that.

"So uhhh, your not gonna liquify me and turn me into nothing but a charred skeleton and some red mist are you?" Ha asked still fairly scared of the little girl in front of him. Despite the realization he came to in the last several seconds.

Of coarse you can imagine his surprised when the god-like physic girl burst out laughing, while pointing at him. Like he was the funniest thing in the world or something.

After politely waiting for her to stop, he was still rather certain she could kill him by just blinking in his general direction afterall, she finally seemed capable of talking without having to stop for air every couple of seconds.

"Sorry about that Shinji, I don't exactly get a whole lot of chances to screw with people around here. Anyway I called you here to talk, and make a deal. I can see you wish to ask about my appearance yes?" Seeing his nod she continued. "I scanned your thoughts while you were piloting. You found the idea of another presence inside of the EVA besides you cool but slightly creepy. So I chose to appear as something that fit that description. You found Alma slightly creepy but entirely badass. And I found this to be a rather fitting form. It's cute and innocent. (she did a little spin and but on a cute smile to prove her point) Beautiful and seductive. (she transformed into the her healthy adult Alma form) and last but most important. Deadly, sadistic, and frightening. (she transformed once more into the sickly 'skin and bones' Alma that frequently tried to kill the protagonist of FEAR 2) After changing back into her little girl form she saw Shinji nodding his head in approval.

"You are definitely all the thing you mentioned, although i'm not sure how your sadistic. Your trapped in here aren't you?"

"That is where you are wrong dear pilot. A few months before you came here I gained knowledge of how your human "X-box LIVE" works I have thus registered several accounts through the MAGI and have givin orders to various section 2 agents to buy a variety of X-box games for me to play. I've had quite a bit of fun 'PWNing the noobs' as you humans say. I've even managed to get first place in this, 1 VS. 100 game. Under the username 'a patch of blue'.

"I knew that guy was a bot!" Shinji exclaimed.

"I AM NOT A BOT! I will have you know I am a perfect mix between human, angel, and lilith's DNA!" She yelled back. Sounding rather insulted.

"Sorry, i'll admit that was a little uncalled for. So what was the deal you wanted?" Shinji decided to change the subject to calm her down.

"Oh right, I almost forgot, thank you for reminding me. I wish to have more contact with humans. I already met several hundred on LIVE most of them are to dumbfounded to realize that Yes, woman play video games and Yes, they are playing with one at that very moment to have a meaningful conversation with. So when your X-box arrives we will play together, it doesn't matter what we play, as long as I have some company that won't ask what i'm wearing every other minute." Seeing he was about to ask a question she knew he was going to ask she answered before he could voice it aloud. "I told the MAGI to ship your X-box over around the time you shattered Sachiel's AT field, I had plenty of time to scan your recent memories so I knew you had to leave it at home. Oh, in exchange for this favor they wish to play with you as well. They are also female and have ran into the same problem I have. Their names are Balthazar, Casper, and Melchior. Although Melchior only likes to watch other people play. So we'll have a nice group of four people."

"I've got several lady-friend on X-box live, I can see what your talking about, I can't go into any kind of public games with them without almost everyone either making some lewd comment or debating about whether she's actually a she or just a small boy. Honestly if my faith in humanity wasn't at absolute zero already i'm pretty sure i'de feel some form of pity for those stupid people. Anyway, there doesn't seem to be a downside to this deal, and even if there was I would accept it anyway so, sure, I accept. Let's kick some noobly ass soon alright?" Shinji stated, before shaking the girls hand.

"Excellent! I'll tell the girls and we can have a nice big slaughter fest on firefight mode in ODST tonight." She seemed rather happy, he could understand why, they could finally get the dreaded 'endure' achievement.

"…. wait if i'm in here what's happening to 01?" shinji asked, once again remembering exactly how he got here.

"Oh don't worry Shinji i've been controlling it from here since you passed out. I fixed your eye by the way, can't have my new partner being half blind now can we? Here i'll let you watch how I killed him."

Shinji was a little frightened of the smile she had on her face when she said that. But he was rather distracted because the hilly plain was transforming into what appeared to be the personal theatre room some rich people had. On the monitor appeared unit 01, it appeared the replay started off exactlyu when he passed out.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_on the screen-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As Sachiel was about to drop 01 and roar in victory it was rudely interrupted as 01 grabbed one of his ribs and viciously broke it off. He watched in confusion as the strange purple lilim shaped thing flicked its wrist and a double bladed blue glowing blade appeared out if it's bone. Before he could react he was missing his arms and his legs. Falling to the ground with a massive crash he realized he could not win, It was alright though, he may have been the weakest of his brothers but he had a trump card.

Changing the structure of his remaining flesh to that of gelatin he wrapped himself around his foe.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-back in the theatre_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Shinji had to give Alma (as she had told him to call her) walking out of the explosion relatively unharmed looked rather badass. Definitely a 10 out of 10 in his book.

"Nice goin partner, I never thought of using an energy sword. Kudos."

"Awww thanks it was nothin." She said faking a blush. "Well, we've got an hour or two before they retrieve your unconscious body and put you in a hospital, you'll probably wake up shortly after that. So, wanna play some games while we wait? Trust me, you've never played a first person shooter until you've played it in a mark II entry plug." She asked, already creating the necessary equipment.

"Do you even have to ask?" He answered stepping into one of the two clear domes that appeared.

"Let's melt some faces."

* * *

**Omake**

"Finally i'm away from that Avatar kid and his blasted friends. Now my cabbages will be safe." Said the man only known as 'cabbage guy' said as he was walking along a dirt road in the middle of a forest.

"i'm pretty thirsty, my cabbages will be safe here, I think i'll go get some water from that pond over there."

after a nice long drink the man turned back around to go continue pushing his cart to the next town when he heard a whistling noise. He could see a shadow forming so he looked up to see what appeared to be a giant knife falling from the sky.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!" he screamed, diving for cover.

***CRASH***

After the dust settled he looked up from his hiding place.

"MY CABAGGES!"

**omake-part 2**

"-And that is reason number Four-Hundred and Seventy-Three of why this cabbage is smarter then you." Adachi lectured Seta and his group as they fought him.

They were about to, _once_ _again_, tell him to STFU when he suddenly fell to his knees and grabbed his head.

"maybe he had an aneurism from all that crazy trapped in that head of his?" yosuke commented.

Souji sure as hell hoped so, the maybe he would shutup about the god damned cabbages.

"I sense a disturbance in the cabbages. Like a hundred voices all called out in unison, only to be silenced but a moment later. You will be avenged my comrades!!" Adachi yelled, making his insanity that much more obvious.

* * *

the game 'morrowind' the shoulder armor was called pauldrons so this is a bit of a tribute to the game that got me hooked on the elder scrolls series, and eventually fallout 3.

2. it was a double sided dildo..... it was purple.

Yes, you could beat people with a double sided dildo in GTA:Vice City

* * *

I-i think i'm actually PROUD of this. Lemme check.... yup. I thought up my own original idea, made a decent OC (I hope), and hopefully lured more people to the dar- I mean, Video game addiction .

And yes I realize I could have written out ALOT more detail about various things. I pretty much ignored anything that didn't have Shinji in it. Like for instance, the general handing over command to the pri-I mean Gendo and NERV's reaction to Shinji using the AT field in the ways he did.

I actually had a lot of trouble with writing pretty much everything inside of unit 01. unlike the rest of the chapter it didn't just 'appear' in my head what I should write. I actually had to think about what I was going to write. That's why this wasn't posted yesterday evening

Please tell me what you think. This is not only my first multi-chapter piece of work but it's also the first chapter i've actually taken seriously. I want to know how I did.

* * *

currently reading: 'the maelstrom and tha guardian' by froggy-slice (yes that's the exact title spelling)

Currently listening to: well i'm playing disgaea 2 while i'm reading this so whatever the 'item world' theme is is what i'm listening to.

* * *

OH, I almost forgot to add this. Heres a list of the powers Shinji used and what they're from. This is for those people who aren't G-nerds (gaming nerds) like me.

HA-DOU-KEN!

A move from street fighter in which one of the fighters launches a glowing blue sphere of energy at his opponent.

Spiriiiiiit SWORD!

A technique used by the character Kuwabara in the anime series Yu Yu Hakusho. He used his spirit energy and molded it into the shape of a sword.

DIMENSIONAL SLASH!

A high level sword skill from the Disgaea series. The character who uses it jump way up in the air, spins around, and launches a thin green wave of energy at up to five opponents who are standing in front of him.

SHINING FINGER!

A move from G-gundam in which the main character does something with the right hand of the gundam causing it to pretty much own anything it touches.

Do I really even have to explain this last one? *sigh* fine. It's the energy sword from halo. This actually wouldn't work if she made the actually sword. It's not meant for human hands. Seriously next time you play halo play as an elite in forge mode and equip an energy sword and look at the handle. The handle in made specifically for an elite's hand. How the F(beep) does master chief wield that thing so well?


	14. 14: c'mon Mr bubbles!

Okay so i'll try and keep the spoilers to a minimum. But I just got Bioshock 2. one thing you may wanna watch out for when you start playing it is that if you even get just a little 'into' the games when you play you may wanna keep all weapon-like objects out of arms reach, specially if your a dad when you see the opening scene when you hit new game.

One thing is for certain

i'm going to enjoy killing lamb.

Oh, and one extra thing.

THIS IS A SPECIAL SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT FOR ANYONE WHO USES THE SPAZZ 12 SHOTGUN ON MODERN WARFARE 2:

knock it off! Seriously people, use a gun the requires some goddamn skill. You can just aim and shoot (not aiming down the sites I mean just point in their general direction) and kill people from 30 feet away in 1 hit.

It's worse the the goddamn models before they patched 'em. Which didn't actually work cuz if you put on FMJ they shoot the same as they did before the nerf-ed em

thank you for listening to my ranting.

Anyway, this is what I was thinking the thought process was for the delta daddy you play as in the Bioshock 2 during the first part of the game.

* * *

chapter 14: Help me Mr. Bubbles!

"C'mon Daddy, I smell an angel." My baby squealed. She was so adorable when she was happy. I would do anything to protect that happiness.

So off we go, I lose sight of her a few times and have to rune after her, scaring the ever loving hell out of the various people I pass, but I always catch up to her. Causing her to giggle more and run slightly faster. After we pass the ball-room though I hear the sound none of my brother want to hear.

My little one screaming for help.

After sprinting, something that I, according to my Brothers, seem to be the only one capable of doing so far, to where I hear her screams I come upon the scene I was expecting, yet dreading.

Eleanor, my Daughter, was cornered by 4 splicers one floor below me. Three of them seemed like the basic thug splicers, they were the easiest to fight in my opinion, having lost most of their motor functions they lack the ability to hold a gun and pull the trigger. Thus limiting them to melee weapons.

The other was slightly worrying though. He was a lead-head splicer. Pretty much the same as the thugs but they kept their motor functions when they turned into hideous monsters (yah like i'm a judge of whos a monster) which means they can, and usually do use weaponry. This one just happened to be using a shotgun. Something that probably wouldn't pierce my armor (armor piercing rounds could, but they're relatively new and highly expensive) but it it would dent my armor and then I would have to go through the long process of having it buffed out.

Noticing that the lead-head is right below me I took a few steps back, ran forward, and jumped off the balcony I was on landing right on him. As I stood up and faced the shocked face of the other three I absently noticed that the LH's head had popped like a grape when my boot landed on his head. Ahhh well, bastard deserved it anyway.

The middle three of the thugs seemed to be the leader and was holding my baby's ADAM extractor, after a second of getting over his shock at my arrival he stabbed himself with it.

Now i'm not an expert on using raw ADAM but i'm pretty they had to tweak the ADAM when they made it into plasmids so you could control what power you got. So this guy just risked me showing him what his own organs look like for a random ass power.

'What a mor-', is what I thought right before I saw him charging electricity through his hand. 'OH SHIT!'

***ZAP***

"AAAARRRGGG" because of the unique watery, syrupy liquid inside my suit however my scream of pain echoed through the suit making a rather ominous groaning sound.

It hurts to be zapped my lightning, but I saw my little sweet-heart out of the corner of my helmet and I pushed past the pain long enough to notice the thug on the right was jumping toward me, arms raised behind his head.

If I could I would have laughed and I cut him off when he said, "the bigger they ar-", with the business end of my drill. I used a technique I learned over the months I had been protecting my baby. Simply turn on the drill thrust forward and when the poor sap is caught in the drill pull the arm slightly to the side and pull back sharply the effect is flinging the, usually dead, splicer several dozen feet away away.

As I took care of righty lefty decided he wanted to try and take Eleanor when I wasn't looking. He met the blunt end of my drill when I spun around and swung my entire arm like a bat.

It was safe to day he wasn't getting back up, what with the whole, lack of a frontal lobe thing.

As I turned to the last splicer I decided to try a move I saw my newer, bulkier, brother pull off. Revving up my trusty drill I launched forward, drill first. Unfortunately, my inexperience using the 'Stinger Drill', as my brothers had dubbed it, cost me as the leader hurled himself to the right. I still took a decent chunk of his torso and his left arm but I was aiming mid-chest.

As he lay bleeding trying in vain to cover his gaping wounds with his arm I took a second to pat myself on the back, a lot of my brothers weren't very strong, the... Delta series, I think we're called, were a slight failure. We just weren't that strong. We were fast, but everything else was faster, making our speed rather useless. We were the 'Jack of All Trades' of my brothers according to one of the white-coated men who oversaw my creation.

So it was rather easy to understand that when the splicer raised his hand and forced a glowing green ball in his had I had no time to dodge, nor was I paying attention enough to attack him before he could throw the mystery ball at me.

As it impacted upon my visor my head exploded into chaos. The orange-ish goop in my helmet turned a neon green and I felt control of my body slip away.

The leader laughed as he collapsed, dead, I felt joy that they were dead and hopefully whatever he hit me with would wear off soon. Unfortunately that hope was viciously dashed when I heard a voice demand I "turn around".

My body obeyed without my permission.

I got a look at who was ordering me around and was slightly surprised to see Sofia Lamb, the ONLY psychiatrist in rapture. She was a manipulative, cold hearted bitch. She was also rather attractive, in that 'librarian' sort of way. Of coarse any more thoughts on the subject were killed when she spoke again.

"Kneel."

I was rather confused what she wanted at this point, but when I saw she was holding my little one by the wrist with an iron grip, and hurting her, I noted. I was instantly set on alert. She was hurting my baby.

She will die. I will make sure of it. No One hurt my Eleanor.

"Take off your helmet."

I was thrown back into confusion again, not because the order but because despite not actually knowing how to take any parts of my suit off, my body still responded, doing something with the neck area of my suit i heard a 'click' sound and the goo that I was used to seeing through drained from my helmet. A second later the helmet came off joining the liquid on the ground revealing my. Rather handsome, if the female white-coat's words were true, face and my unnatural red eyes (changed from the Daddy-ification process) although I don't remember having glowing green blood veins. my musing was cut off when she raised her hand and revealed an antique handgun. It was a luger. Something she probably stole from that Tenanbaum woman. She was the only german in rapture that would have had access to one before coming here.

"She is not your child, she is MINE." She told me, almost shouting out the last word.

I watched, horrified as she held my baby's head in just the right way so she couldn't look away.

"Take the gun and place it against your head."

'No!' I shouted as my hand picked up the gun. 'No no no no! Obey me dammit! You are my hand, not hers!' my struggle appeared to be working as the gun stayed in place. Shaking, but not moving any closer to my head.

That is, until she said in a forceful tone, "now" and just like that the gun barrel shot up to my temple, all traces of resistance gone.

In that moment I realized that I was going to die.

So I did the only thing I could think of that would absolve me of my only regret. Thank to my armor I was never able to tell my daughter I love her. Mustering the last of my energy I managed to get my mouth under my control.

"I love you, Eleanor. My daughter. You have made me a very happy father. Grow strong, never let anyone control you."

Sophia gaze, if possible, became even colder. Her words practically ice.

"Pull the trigger."

"DADD-***BLAM***

Then the darkness took me.

* * *

As I woke up I was confused, I should be dead. Even if the shot didn't kill me my lungs can't breath the air here. Thanks to the voice modulator that was installed in the daddy-ification process I needed oxygen enriched goo to breath.

But here I am, alive, and in full Big Daddy Delta armor without the... what did they call it? LCL? Ya, that was it, inside my helmet and I was breathing just fine. Very much alive.

I also needed to be near Eleanor to be alive, as I was bonded to her, my heart was linked to hers. This told me she was alive.

I would find her. Even if I have to ruthlessly slaughter every goddamn thing in my way.

I'm a Big Daddy. No one fucks with my daughter.

Well.... not if they wanna live for very long they don't

* * *

as I continued my journey I found myself running into more and more of my brothers. At first I avoided them because I didn't want to fight my brethren. but I came to realize that the fathers of the little ones in those suits were long gone. They were but mindless followers now.

To who, I don't know. What I do know is that all that was left was a shell that cared about as much about their daughters as they would a potted plant.

I saw one of the newer version with a grenade launcher on his shoulder defending his little one. He never stood in her way so his armor would deflect the bullets like the brothers I knew would. No, while fighting my not-brothers would forget about their little ones and let them be hit by bullets and pipes and an assortment of other things. Sure they can't feel pain, but it's the principle of the matter!

So that's why I killed any brothers I came across on my journey and freed the little ones. The way I see it, I was freeing them from a loveless relationship. From a father that cared only for what they could do for them.

In fact, the only beings in rapture I regretted killing were my sisters. They, in essence, were simply older little ones. The thought of hurting the little ones made me sick. So when I was forced to kill one of my new sisters I wept for her. I hoped her father was proud of her. If my little angel could grow up to be like the sisters i'm fighting then I think I would be the proudest father in rapture.

There was one thing I feared more then losing Eleanor however. The alpha series. The first brothers ever created that didn't go insane... well, not completely anyway.

I didn't fear them for their combat prowess, nor because they were my superior in speed. I feared them because they represented what I could become. If I lost Eleanor I would become one of them. Cursed to spent the rest of my days in mourning. Sorrow, engulfing me so much that my body would either shut down, or become so enraged I would murder everything I came across.

When it was all said and done I had gained a dozen new daughters and even a friend in sinclair. As greedy as he was he was a decent guy underneath.

I won't spoil how I did it. But I can watch over Eleanor forever now. My journey is at an end.

I hope your is just as enjoyable a mine.

* * *

ok I was rather tired when I started this and fell asleep while typing. When I woke up I couldn't remember where I was going with this story. So thats why the second half doesn't make a whole lot of sense. (in my opinion anyway)

the last statement is true though.

I hope you all enjoy playing bioshock II as much as I did.

* * *

currently reading: Back 4 More by Xorncon – Number 0

currently listening to: bioshock original soundtrack.

my brother bought the collectors edition. So we got a lot of stuff. The artbook alone was worth the extra money. But we also got the OST and a record version of the OST. I don't know if the record would play or not but it looks awesome. Plus 2 new characters when I play online. And 3 posters. (the posters aren't that great though. IMO)


	15. fifteen: Moving On to Bigger Things

Okay y'all may have noticed my lack of updates. Well, as the title suggests I have moved on. I found my passion in pre-reading (being a BETA) for other people, and one one case, rewriting a story.

In case your curious I Beta for a L4D2 fem!hunter story called Innoocent.

A Neon Genesis Evangeleon story called Dark Kabalah. (I'm almost 80 percent sure I spelled Kabalah wrong)

And i'm helping re-do a lemon story appropriately called, Pile of Lemons.

Heres a link to the last story: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)s(slash)5567186(slash)1(slash)pile_of_lemons

Give it a read and see what you think. It's already twice as big as this story and it has lemons that are either touched up, or written by me in it!

I've come to realize that I can't think write up original stories very well. But I _can_ help other with such a task. So being a Beta reader keeps me happy. Plus I get a sneak peak at stories I like. :D

Rewriting is just the right challenge level for me, plus I can add little things here and there to spice up the story. (yes, a shameless attempt to get you guys to read PoL I know but a guys gotta try right?)

so this is slicerness, signing off for now. I may try and write more oneshots in the future but for now i'm content to stick with what i'm doing. See y'all later.


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